Sales Comic Strips - Page 9
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Character
197 Results for Sales
View 81 - 90 results for sales comic strips. Discover the best "Sales" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 14,
2009
Tags interview, trick, scheme, selling, laptops, disappointed, stupidity
Transcript
Job interview Dogbert says, "Do you have any sales experience?" Man says, "No, but I?" Dogbert says, "Okay, whatever." Dogbert says, "There's no base pay. You only get paid opn commission." Dogbert says, "And you'll need a special laptop for this job." Dogbert says, "you can buy it from our company with a 5% employee discount." Dogbert says, "You're hired." Man says, "Yes! And my friends told me I would never find a sales job in this weak economy!" Man says, "By the way, what does the company sell?" Dogbert says, "We sell laptops to idiots."
Saturday June 06,
2009
Tags boss, threat, violence, meeting, sales quota, deformed, business
Transcript
Ratbert: VP of Sales Ratbert says, "Humphrey, some might say you're below your sales quota because the economy is soft." Ratbert says, "But I say it's because I haven't beaten you enough with this wooden spoon." Ratbert says, "You know what I'm tired of hearing? 'Not my good eye! Not my good eye!'"
Friday June 05,
2009
Tags meeting, boss, raising, hands, cruel, threat, business
Transcript
Ratbert: VP of sales Ratbert says, "I'm accompanying Humphrey on this sales call so he can learn from the master." Ratbert says, "I'll begin by giving you something, thus triggering your need to reciprocate." Ratbert says, "Who wants to hit Humphrey with a shovel?"
Thursday June 04,
2009
Tags meeting, confrontation, hunchback, deformed, boss, ridiculous, business
Transcript
Ratbert : VP of sales Ratbert says, "Humphrey, you're scaring all of our customers." Ratbert says, "Try to be less pitchforkable." Ratbert says, "Seriously. Can you do that?" Humphrey says, "Who wants a hug?!"
Wednesday June 03,
2009
Tags leadership, assignment, describing, happy, ridiculous
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Ratbert you're my new VP of sales." Dogbert says, "Your job is to set impossible goals for the salespeople and punish them for failing." Ratbert says, "Yay! I always wanted to be a sadist!" Dogbert says, "Dreams do come true."
Wednesday March 04,
2009
Tags conversation, lying, deception
Transcript
The boss says, "I'll be right back after I inoculate our CEO." The boss says, "If you ever decide to reduce our layers of management, Carl is worthless and he thinks your kids look like the director of sales." The boss thinks, "That should buy me a few months."
Thursday February 05,
2009
Tags sales, economy, ridiculous, business
Transcript
Dilbert in sales Salesman says, "We had to be more creative because of the soft economy." Salesman says, "now we kill our customers and replace them with body doubles who place big orders." Customer says, "Who's the handsome new sales guy?" Salesman says, "He's you in about ten minutes."
Wednesday February 04,
2009
Tags job, interview, disappointment, humiliation, business
Transcript
Dogbert says, "You survived the rigorous interview process, but there are no openings in engineering." Dogbert says, "However, I am prepared to offer you a position in sales." Dilbert says, "You mean a job?" Dogbert says, "No, just a position." Dilbert says, "This took and ugly turn."
Thursday January 08,
2009
Tags selfishness, rudeness, sales, internet, confusion, sabotage, business, technology
Transcript
The lucky sales guy man says, "My sales quotas were set too low. I plan to buy a yacht with my commissions." man says, "Would you mind programming the navigation system so I can get drunk while my boat takes me places?" Asok says, "Why are you researching where all the pirates attack?" Dilbert says, "It's better if you don't know."
Wednesday January 07,
2009
Tags meeting, sales, annoyance, anger, business
Transcript
man says, "Thanks to a new law, every customer In my sales territory needed to upgrade." man says, "Now I wear a hat made of money. The funny thing is that I'm not even a good salesman." man says, "Next week, the donuts are on me." Alice says, "Die! Die! Die!"


