Same Excuses Comic Strips - Page 9
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438 Results for Same Excuses
View 81 - 90 results for same excuses comic strips. Discover the best "Same Excuses" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 06,
2017
Be Creative With Funding
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday March 29,
2017
Wally Is Either Lazy Or Wise
Tags laziness, genius, work ethic, efficiency
Transcript
Woman: Can you do that by end of day? Wally: It would be smarter to wait until we have the final specs. Woman: I can't tell if you're lazy or wise. Wally: It's all the same thing. Woman: This is a weird gray area. Wally: I'm going to take a quick nap to boost my productivity.
Monday January 30,
2017
Robotic Hair Transplant
Tags coffee, conversation, hair, surgery, medical
Transcript
Never go to a robotic hair transplant center on the same day they upgrade the software. Is that the surgery where they take hair from the back of your head and fill in the bald spot? That's how the old software worked. The new one didn't respect boundaries.
Thursday January 19,
2017
Wally's Red File Gets Him Out Of Work
Tags laziness, ruse, work ethic, deception, excuse
Transcript
Wally: I'd love to help you, but I'm busy working on the red file. Woman: Is the red file a real thing or just a thing you say to get out of work? Wally: It's all the same on your end.
Wednesday January 04,
2017
Ruining Dilbert's Flow
Tags stress, deadline, work load, multitask, compensation, money
Transcript
Boss: I'm giving you another software project to work on at the same time as your main project. Dilbert: That will ruin my flow. It will take too long to reset my brain when I switch between projects. Boss: Have you tried working longer hours without extra pay? Dilbert: Yes I have!
Monday December 19,
2016
Who's Turn To Lie
Saturday December 03,
2016
Acting Interested In Dilbert
Tags managers, relationships, human, humanity, productivity, motivation
Transcript
Boss: I'm supposed to act interested in your well-being to boost your job performance. Dilbert: No thanks. Boss: So... how's your wife, or girlfriend, or same-sex partner, or loneliness? Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Okay, I think that covers it. Dilbert: Look! My productivity is soaring!
Thursday October 20,
2016
Different Time Estimates
Tags quote, estimate, time, deadline, length, pessimism
Transcript
Boss: I'm getting wildly different estimates for how long it will take to write the software. Dilbert: Based on my experience, I say take the longest estimate and multiply it by three. Boss: Is experience exactly the same as pessimism? Dilbert: Experience is much worse.
Friday September 02,
2016
Messages For The Boss
Tags communication, internet, modernity, attention, distraction, excuses, technology
Transcript
Boss: Why didn't you talk to me before making this decision? Dilbert: I left you a voicemail, an email, and a text message. I also messaged you on Skype, Slack, WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook. Boss: Did you try leaving a note on my chair? Dilbert: It's stuck to your buttocks.
Tuesday July 05,
2016
Wally Waits For People
Tags responsibility, laziness, work ethic, excuses
Transcript
Boss: You accomplished nothing this month. Wally: I'm waiting for people to get back to me. I believe it is your job to make sure those other people do their jobs. Boss: I guess I could talk to them. Wally: I'll wait for you to get back to me.