Seem Smart Comic Strips - Page 9
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Wally: My new hobby is explaining economics using babble talk. It sounds totally real. For example, did you know that the bubble in commodities is creating an oversupply of interest rates? Meanwhile... Boss: Our Chief Economist quit. CEO: Promote that bald guy. He sounds smart.
Catbert: I have to promote you to vice president because our CEO has been mentoring you. Otherwise, it would seem as if he is either bad at mentoring or bad at picking people to mentor. Alice: Now what? Wally: Would you like to hear some good news that won't make you happy?
Wally: If you need me, I'll be in the cloud fixing a software issue. There's no cell coverage in the cloud, so it might seem to you as if I am at home doing nothing. If you need me, I'll be at home doing nothing. Dilbert: Why would anyone need you?
Dinosaur: All I need is my flip phone, my Windows XP, and my basic cable television. Did I sound like a big, dumb dinosaur that time? Dogbert: Pretty much. Dinosaur: Wow... there is no cool way to describe my life.
Dinosaur: I don't own a smartphone. I use a flip phone because it does everything I want. Alice: Why are you proud of being a big, dumb dinosaur with a terrible phone? Dinosaur: I"m sensing a lot of judgement in that question. Alice: Wait until you hear my follow-ups.
Dilbert: I would like to thank each of you for playing with your phones and not listening to a word I said all meeting. I hope karma is a real thing and frozen lavatory debris from airplanes kills each of you. Alice: What was he going on about? Wally: Beats me. I'm not much of a multitasker.
Boss: Did you have any problems filling in for me while I was on vacation? Robot: It was hard at first. I couldn't tell who was lying about doing a spectacular job. Boss: That's why I reward them randomly. Robot: I tried that and it did seem to settle them down.
Boss: Robots are a clever novelty, but they will never be intelligent like humans. Dilbert: What would be an example of something your brain can do that a robot can't imitate? Boss: Well, for example, I can tell when a movie is good. Dilbert: If that were intelligence, all smart people would like the same movies. Boss: Well, I can also read human faces to know what people are feeling. Dilbert: What am I feeling right now? Boss: I'm picking up a mixture of admiration, arousal, and thoughts of bacon. Dilbert: Don't get cocky, but you won this round.
Wally: Did you get the link I sent about the ten things all leaders need to do? I also sent you an article about the nine habits of successful people. And I sent you an article about the time management tricks used by successful people. According ti my research. There are 17,429 tricks you need to master to be a good leader. That might seem like a lot. But if you master ten per year, you'll be 1.2% competent by the time you retire. Boss: Why are we having this conversation? Wally: Im going to add "Listening skills" to the list.