Seven Times Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

207 Results for Seven Times

View 81 - 90 results for seven times comic strips. Discover the best "Seven Times" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design plan, #suboptimal, #highlighted items, #illusion of fullness, #olden times, #hat, #manage like its 1800's

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My design plan is obviously too complex for a manager to understand." Dilbert says, "So I highlighted a few areas that are intentionally suboptimal." Dilbert says, "Just point to the highlighted items and demand that I fix them." Dilbert says, "That will give you the illusion of usefulness." Dilbert says, "Pretend this is olden times when bosses knew what their employees did for a living." Dilbert says, "To round out the fantasy, wear this hat made from a dead animal." Dilbert says, "Now manage me like it's the 1800's!" Boss says, "Do you have a smaller hat?" Dilbert says, "Imagine that we're out of candles."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #heart attack, #bad boss, #swedish study, #fall over, #feet up, #dead, #surprise, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "A Swedish study in 2009 showed that people with bad bosses had 40% more heart attacks." Coworker says, "Aaak!!!" Wally says, "I should want you that I'll probably tell this story a few times."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new job, #double workload, #hold papers, #complain, #exaggerate, #sit in chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Did I tell you I'm doing two jobs now?" Dilbert says, "About a million times." Dilbert says, "You've complained about it so much that it's like a song I can't get out of my head." Alice says, "I only found out yesterday." Dilbert says, "I'm trying to get ahead of it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking, #telling, #story, #interrupted, #annoyed, #berating, #angry, #hijacked, #criticism, #ridicule, #ignoring

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "And then Ted said he'd?" Man says, "Ho ho! I've seen that a million times!" Man says, "At my old job we used to make cricket noises whenever our manager was approaching." Man says, "But that doesn't mean you should cut corners when it comes to quality." Dilbert says, "You're hijacking our conversation!" Man says, "I'm adding value." Dilbert says, "You don't even know what we were talking about." Wally says, "Apparently you have a social disorder that compes you to insert irrelevant stories and trite observations into other people's conversations." Wally says, "I assume part of the disorder involves not being able to recognize it in yourself." Dilbert says, "I wonder if he can hear us." Man says, "Did I tell you about my camping trip?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asking, #project, #procrastination, #excuses, #stupidity, #lying

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Wally, are you done with your project yet?" Wally says, "I'll be done next week." The Boss says ,"You've said, 'Next week' for seven weeks in a row. What makes you think I'm going to believe it this time?" Wally says, "The first six times?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #conference, #meeting, #greed, #corruption, #illegal, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO summit Dogbert says, "Obviously it's illegal for companies to rig bids." Dogbert says, "But interestingly, the crime is nearly impossible to prove when nothing is written down." Dogbert says, "I'd like you to meet Eddie. Pay close attention to how many times he stomps his hoof."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruel, #employee, #co-worker, #complaining, #annoyed, #angry

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I hired an arrogant guy with a huge forehead. He's on your project." Dilbert says, "Great. Everything this guy says will seem more annoying than usual because of his huge forehead!" Man says, "I keep a wine glass with me at all times. I'm a foodie." Dilbert says, "Case in point!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excuses, #lying down, #table, #reading, #agenda, #sleeping, #lazy

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Agenda items four through seven don't involve me." Wally says, "I'll use that time to take a refreshing table nap. Experts say it's good for productivity." The boss says, "I need to talk to those experts." Zzzzzzz

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #flirting, #dinner, #afraid, #confused, #yelling, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman says, "You're not my type. Why am I attracted to you? How did you do this, you monster!" Dilbert says, "In troubling economic times, my financial stability appeals to your survival instincts. It's basic evolution." Woman says, "Gaaa!!! That made me bored and aroused at the same time!" Dilbert says, "Science!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart the ceo, #420 times, #smarter, #system is flawed, #contradicting your boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I earn 420 times what you make. That means I'm 420 times smarter." A man says, "Actually, it means the system is deeply flawed." Dogbert says, "If you were 420 times smarter, you wouldn't be contradicting your boss right now."