Share Knowledge Comic Strips - Page 9

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194 Results for Share Knowledge

View 81 - 90 results for share knowledge comic strips. Discover the best "Share Knowledge" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2011's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #seven layers of management, #lead company, #unknowingly, #bad idea, #input to avoid, #ceo, #middle management

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CEO: I plant to add seven more layers of management between you and me. My goal is to lead the company without knowing anything about it. Boss: That sounds like a bad idea. CEO: This sort of input is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #managers & supervisors, #ventriloquism, #finishing projects, #early, #powerpoint, #presentation, #executive retreat, #dead boss hand puppet, #business

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Man says, "The engineering department is finishing all of their projects early and we don't know why." CEO says, "Tell them to do a powerpoint presentation at the next executive retreat to share their methods." Asok says, "Now it's my turn to use the dead boss hand puppet!" Alice says, "Uh-oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 16, 2011's comic on:


Tags #exercise & fitness, #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #brain work better, #the ighties, #debunks science, #business

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Alice says, "Scientists say that exercise makes your brain work better." The Boss says, "I haven't exercised since the eighties." The Boss says, "That pretty much debunks science." Alice says, "It had a good run."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2011's comic on:


Tags #blinds, #co workers, #cubilce, #screen glare, #sunlight, #vampire, #window coverings, #share office

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Dilbert: why do you keep closing the blinds? Mordac: Screen glare? GAAAA!!! Dilbert: Screen glare. Alice: don't care.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2011's comic on:


Tags #computer software, #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #business

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The Boss says, "I hired a consultant to help us evolve our products to cloud computing." Dogbert says, "Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud." The Boss says, "It's as if your'e a technologist and a philosopher all in one!" Dogbert says, "blah blah platform."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #masters forum, #share knowledge, #across dsiciplines, #insulted chairperson

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Woman says, "Would you like to be part of a masters forum to share knowledge across disciplines?" Dilbert says, "No. The only people who will be there are the ones who don't have anything better to do. I try to avoid people like that." Woman says, "I'm the chairperson." Dilbert says, "I'll get a lot done that day!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #old coworker, #whisper, #secret, #knowledge, #die, #evil smile, #grin, #business

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Boss says, "Old Johannsen has kept his job all of these years because no one else has his critical knowledge." Johannsen says, "Pss pss pss pss psss"B<R>The Boss says, "There's the worst-case scenario right there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #prices, #confusing, #explain, #arms out, #piece of paper, #compete, #angry, #spank, #logical

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Dilbert says, "Is it my imagination or is your pricing intentionally confusing?" Coworker says, "It's intentionally confusing." Coworker says, "That way you can't compare our prices to our competitors' prices." Coworker says, "Our competitors do the same thing. It's called confusopoly." Coworker says, "We all get our fair share of confused customers and we don't need to lower our prices to compete." Coworker says, "We use the profits from our anti-competitive behavior to fun innovation." Coworker says, "So don't ruin a good system by trying to understand what you're buying." Dilbert says, "That almost sounds reasonable." Coworker says, "Now spank yourself and thank me!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #computer, #work, #progress, #software, #annoyed, #grit teeth, #drink coffee, #inspiration, #machine, #technology, #engineering

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The Boss says, "Wally, have you made any progress coding your module?" Wally says, "Progress is difficult to measure in the software realm." Wally says, "You could measure the lines of code I produce, but that would reward inefficiency." Wally says, "The art of this job is binding the rare moments of inspiration to knowledge and machines." Wally says, "In fact, just a minute ago I could feel the inspiration welling up inside me." Wally says, "But then you interrupted me with your naive question and the moment was lost." Wally says, "Maybe you should go back to your office and reflect on the damage you've done here today." Wally thinks, "There goes the one person who has less of a real job than I do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #small groups, #argue, #alone, #talk to self, #annoyed, #empty chairs, #business

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The Boss says, "We'll break into small groups to discuss options." Dilbert says, "Why? Do you think we'll be smarter when we're in small groups?" The Boss says, "That way everyone gets more time to talk." Dilbert says, "According to your theory, the ideal group size would be one person talking to himself." The Boss says, "No, you also need the knowledge and perspective that extra people bring." Dilbert says, "That would argue for larger groups, not smaller ones." The Boss says, "Fine! Just break into whatever size groups you think make sense." Dilbert says, "I like your style, Dilbert." Dilbert says, "Thank you for noticing."