Short Round Guy Comic Strips - Page 9

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470 Results for Short Round Guy

View 81 - 90 results for short round guy comic strips. Discover the best "Short Round Guy" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business failures/bankruptcies, #executives, #wages, #long tern survival, #innovate ways, #cannibalize, #current prodcuts, #lose a fortune, #ceo's compensation, #revenue dips, #hovel, #some ideas, #money

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Dilbert: Our only hope for long-term survival is to innovate in ways that cannibalize our current products. The downside is that you'll lose a fortune in CEO compensation when our revenue dips in the short run. CEO: Thanks. I'll stop by your hovel later with some ideas for ruining your life, too.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2012's comic on:


Tags #interviews, #resume, #piece of work, #lie, #exaggeration, #mispelling, #bad format, #failed prodcuts, #salsa dancer, #applicants resume, #handsome fellow, #busted

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Boss: Take a look at this resume. Alice: Ha ha! This guy is a piece of work! Lie... lie... exaggeration... misspelling... bad format... worked on failed products. Ooh! He's also a champion salsa dancer. What a tool! Wait. Why aren't you joining in the traditional mocking of the applicant's resume? Dilbert: I'm waiting to find out if he's the handsome fellow standing behind you. Alice: Scoot over. You're blocking my view of a handsome guy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #engineers, #loud howard, #topper, #hatred, #passive aggressive

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Boss: I'm putting you on a project with Loud Howard, Topper and the new guy who loves the sound of his own voice. Dilbert: Is it because you hate me? Boss: Not at all. It's because I hate the other three guys.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #twins, #meeting, #clone, #cooler clone, #clear view, #engine purr, #business

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Tina: Is it awkward being in the same meeting as a cooler version of yourself? Scoot back so I can get a clear view. This guy really makes my engine purr. A little more.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2012's comic on:


Tags #career plan, #daughter, #trophy wife, #blind guy, #visual, #performing arts

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The Boss: Alice, This is my daughter. Her career plan is to become a trophy wife for a blind guy. Daughter: And by that he means he's not happy that Im majoring in visual and performing arts. Alice: Im having a real hard time choosing sides on this one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #sales personnel, #cold calling, #video chat, #sales job, #computer, #selling on line, #skype, #technology

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Boss: You're supposed to be cold calling sales prospects. Wally: I am. I'm using a video chat site to randomly meet potential customers. This guy is excited to see me, and that's half of the sales job right here.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #intelligence agencies, #national security, #unnamed government agency, #shadowy guy, #create computer virus, #elbonian missile factories

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Loud Howard: This shadowy guy is from an unnamed government agency!!! He wants us to create a computer virus to attach Elbonian missile factories!!! Dilbert: Is he from our government, Loud Howard? Loud Howard: Is that important?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #smartphone, #worlds greatest, #kill iventor, #motorcycle, #threat, #competitors

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Dilbert: I've created the world's greatest smartphone. Boss: Wow. This is so amazing that I'll need to kill you so our competitors never learn how to imitate it. Dilbert: Or you could give me a huge bonus. Boss: Okay, sure. I'll have a guy on a motorcycle attach it to your car.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #carbon dioxide, #exhales endangered species, #fabrications, #harbard, #higgs boson particle, #licorice and flashlight, #national football league, #no bragging rights, #no kids, #training for olympics

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Coworker: My daughter is training for the Olympics. My son is going to Harvard. Dilbert: I have no spawn of my own, so I claim the right to name a proxy to brag on my behalf. Topper, I need you. Topper: OF course you do. My daughter discovered the Higgs boson particle using nothing but licorice and a flashlight. My son inhales carbon dioxide and exhales endangered species while playing in the National Football League. Coworker: This isn't fair! You can't just make up stuff! Topper: According to the president of the International Society of Boasters, fabrications are acceptable. Coworker: I'd like to talk to that guy. Topper: You're looking at him. Dilbert: I win.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #Astrology, #furniture, #magic, #feng shui, #black magic, #voodoo, #psychic, #overbooked, #office design, #occult

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Dilbert: The feng shui consultant you asked for is overbooked. But I found a guy who is heavily into astrology, black magic, and voodoo. Boss: Are you trying to tell me something? Dilbert: Ask him. He's also a psychic.