Should Report Comic Strips - Page 9

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930 Results for Should Report

View 81 - 90 results for should report comic strips. Discover the best "Should Report" comics from Dilbert.com.

Hire Agile Programmers

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Hire Agile Programmers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #pun, #deception, #earthquake, #agility

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Wally: You should move the agile programmers to building six because it has poor earthquake protection. they can jump out of the way if stuff starts falling. Boss; I guess that makes sense. Wally: Can I have one of their cubicles near a window?

Weak Sales Reorg

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Weak Sales Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #executives, #money, #golden parachute, #greed, #logic, #sales, #business

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Boss: Our executive team didn't know what to do about weak sales. SO they reorganized the company and gave themselves new titles and big raises. They still don't know what to do about weak sales, but they report being happier about the situation.

Dogbert's Recommendations

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Dogbert's Recommendations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2016's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #consultant, #listening, #employees, #business

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Dogbert Consults. Dogbert: I recommend doing all of the things your employees have been telling you to do. Boss: I don't see why I should pay you for this. Dogbert: Oh. Then how about doing all the things your competition is doing? Boss: Now, that's a great idea. Dogbert: Good, because that's what your employees have been telling you to do.

Phil From Heck And The Speakerphone

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Phil From Heck And The Speakerphone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #annoying, #foibles, #pet peeve, #habit, #office, #cubicle

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Phil, The Prince Of Insufficient Light. Phil: I have a report that you use your speakerphone in a cubicle environment. Alice: In my defense, I only do it because of my total disregard for others. Phil: Sounds fair. That's why I do it too. Alice: Take your spoon and leave.

Wally Gets A Man Cave

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Wally Gets A Man Cave - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2016's comic on:


Tags #nursing, #babies, #man cave, #deception, #children, #office policy, #Family

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Wally: We should have a private lactation room like other companies. Alice: Yes, we should. Boss: No one in my group is nursing a baby. Wally: What about visitors? Alice: Right. Wally: Thanks for helping me get my man cave at the office. Alice: What?

Biggest Obstacle

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Biggest Obstacle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #criticism, #honesty, #success

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Boss: What is your biggest obstacle to success on this project? Dilbert: It's you. It's always you. Should I add that to the business plan? Boss: Let's keep it general.

Ted Has No Family

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Ted Has No Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2016's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #judgement, #deciding, #business

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Catbert: Ted went on extended disability because a fly went up his nose and laid eggs. Boss: I want to be green, but I don't know if I should side with the fly or the employee in this situation. Catbert: Well, for what it's worth, Ted doesn't have a family, but the fly does.

Government Wants Access To Data

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Government Wants Access To Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #national security, #privacy, #technology, #big business, #terrorism

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CEO: The government wants us to make software that can unlock the encrypted data of our users. Either we choose privacy or national security. Should we betray our customers or should we enable terrorists? Figure out which one is more profitable and get back to me. Boss: On it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #management, #honesty, #competition, #criticism

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Boss: Why are our competitors beating us on the benchmark speed tests? Do they have better engineers? Dilbert: No, they have better management. Their management probably got them the budget they needed to do the job right. I"m guessing they were helpful, instead of being useless, blamecasting time-wasters. I hear you can do a lot when you have good management. I'll probably try to get a job with a competitor. They sound great. It is also possible they lied about their benchmark results. Boss: You should have said that first!

New Ted

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New Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2016's comic on:


Tags #hiring, #generic, #job, #placeholder, #disposable, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #business

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Ted: My name is Ted. I'm applying for this job of generic white guy. Boss: We just lost our Ted. You look perfect for the job. Ted: Is there anything I should know about the job? Boss: It doesn't end well.