Signed To Everyone Comic Strips - Page 9

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300 Results for Signed To Everyone

View 81 - 90 results for signed to everyone comic strips. Discover the best "Signed To Everyone" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #didn't read, #email, #improve communication, #long rambling email, #someone else, #meeting, #business

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The Boss: Did everyone read about how to improve our communication? Dilbert: Was it a long rambling email that stumbled from one barely coherent point to another? The Boss: That one must have been from someone else. Dilbert: Good because I didn't read it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #worms, #bad apple, #ruining everyone, #walk it off, #contagious

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Dilbert: The bad apple you hired is ruining the rest of us. Boss: Just walk it off, you big baby. I want solutions, not problems. Ouch! Stupid bad apple! Dilbert: Walk it off.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2012's comic on:


Tags #costumes, #halloween, #angry cat, #lederhosen, #switched identity, #joke, #boss, #hatred, #holiday

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Dilbert: You both assured me that everyone would be wearing a costume to work today. I spent hours putting together my costume as an angry cat in lederhosen! I hate you both! Wally: Should we tell him? Alice: It's funnier if we don't.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #death & dying, #death certificate, #staple on head, #no return messages

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Alice: You haven't returned any of my messages, so I took the liberty of making a death certificate for you. I'll just staple it to the back of your head so everyone can see it. Are we good here?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #low priority tasks, #transform into emergency, #escalated, #all worked up, #complain about attitude

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Alice: Stop whatever you're doing and go research the answer to this question. Brad: I don't have time to work on low-priority tasks. Alice: Give me ten minutes to transform it into an emergency. Brad is being unhelpful. I need you to talk to his boss. Boss: Sure. Brad refuses to help Alice. Brad's Boss: Help her do what? Boss: I don't know, but obviously it's very important because it got escalated. Brad's Boss: It must be an emergency because everyone is all worked up about it. Alice: Now hum a happy tune or I'll complain about your attitude.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #public opinion, #feedback, #idea, #smart people

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Boss: What feedback have other people given you on your idea? Dilbert: Smart people like it. Everyone else asks me what other people think.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 2012's comic on:


Tags #meetings, #public speaking, #powerpoint slides, #intelligent viwers, #manipulative anecdotes, #boss died, #praise employees

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Dilbert: My PowerPoint slides have a little something for everyone. For my intelligent viewers, I have data, and for the morons, I have manipulative anecdotes. Which reminds me-- did you hear about the boss who died because he didn't praise his employee?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2012's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #embarrassment, #news letter, #leadership, #sound stupid

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Boss: Good news: I signed up to receive a free leadership newsletter by email. I know it's good because it's written by some guy who used to have a job. Stop making everything I say sound stupid!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 24, 2011's comic on:


Tags #boredom, #despair, #subject matter expert, #judging book

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Man: Everyone, this is Wally. He's our subject matter expert. Voices: Groan. Uh-oh. Sheesh. Oh well. Ugh. Wally: People are better than you'd think at judging a book by its cover.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #goals for the year, #assignments, #average raise, #invent nuclear fusion, #lack of knowledge

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Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.