Slide Toward Irrelevance Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for slide toward irrelevance comic strips. Discover the best "Slide Toward Irrelevance" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #accounting records, #congress, #erasing memories, #impenetrable complications, #management, #outside firm, #project team, #hit head, #hammer on head, #knocked on head, #Politics

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Dilbert points to a slide and says, "As requested, my project team has added impenetrable complications to our accounting records." Dilbert says to The Boss, "And an outside firm is erasing all memories from senior management." The Boss asks, "How do they do that?" Dogbert holds a hammer. He says to a manager with a huge bump on his head, "Okay, you're ready to talk to congress." The injured manager replies, "Thank you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 17, 2002's comic on:


Tags #the ceo visit, #presentation, #requires two people, #impressive improvements, #efficiency

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Headline: The CEO Visit. The Boss says to the CEO, "And now Dilbert and Alice will give you a presentation." The CEO responds, "I'm curious to hear why that requires two people." Dilbert and Alice simultaneously point to the same slide. Alice says, "Our department made impressive improvements in..." Dilbert finishes her sentence, "Efficiency!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 11, 2002's comic on:


Tags #fix interface, #million dollars, #close eyes, #wish hard, #saving

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Dilbert points to a slide and says, "We can fix our incomprehensible user interface for a million dollars." Dilbert continues, "Or we can close our eyes and wish real hard that our users won't care." The Boss closes his eyes and wishes real hard. Wally turns to Alice and says, "He's saving a million dollars. What did you do today?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bad management, #company dying, #customer centric, #four small groups, #participation, #skits, #electricity

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our company is dying.. but not because of bad management." The Boss continues, "It's because we're not.." He points to a slide that says, "Customer centric." Wally raises his hand and says, "Well, I for one feel better knowing we have correctly identified the problem." Wally turns to Dilbert and says, "That was a little thing I call participation; you should try it." The Boss says, "Now let's break into four small working groups." The Boss continues, "And develop skits based on our new focus of customer centricity." Dilbert says, "Um.. there are only four of us." He pauses and then says, "Wait.. nevermind." The Boss sits at the conference table alone and thinks, "I'll call my skit 'The Electricity of Customer Centricity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2001's comic on:


Tags #evolution class, #two day course, #surfing student, #cocky squirrel, #janiotr, #three thousand pound squirrel

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Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting at the kitchen table, having cereal and coffee. Dilbert is still in his bathrobe. Dogbert says, "By the end of my two-day evolution class I had one surviving student." Dogbert continues as Dilbert raises his coffee cup, "He's probably the cockiest squirrel I've ever seen. Toward the end he weighed three thousand pounds." Dogbert continues as Dilbert takes a sip, "If you asked me who's the unluckiest person in the world, I'd have to say it was the janitor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2001's comic on:


Tags #designed product, #gaping hole, #market, #miracle team work, #actual afeatures, #eaten by squirrels

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Dilbert stands in front of a complex model. He points on the screen and says, "I designed a product that could fill a gaping hole in the market." Dilbert continues his presentation, pointing to a new slide with two shapes on it, nothing more. He says, "But thanks to the miracle of teamwork it turned into a product with no actual features." The next slide Dilbert points to shows a picture of himself in bed, laughing. He says, "In Phase three I fantasized about my coworkers being eaten by squirrels."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2001's comic on:


Tags #slump, #make changes, #management style, #paternal, #new management style, #we hate employees, #volunteer, #nineties, #kick off, #kick intern, #bent over

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The boss addressing Wally and Dilbert says, "Our industry is in a slump. We need to make changes." Pointing to a slide of Asok being handed an ice-cream cone, the boss says, "Our current mangement style could be described as paternal." Pointing to a slide of a man getting kicked, the boss says, "Our new management style doesn't have a name yet." Asok, waving his arm, says, "Ooh ooh! I have a suggestion." Asok continues, "The new management style could be called 'We hate our employees.'" The boss says, "Not bad." The boss says, "I need a volunteer to help with the 'Back to the nineties' kick-off." Asok bends over preparing to be kicked as he asks, "How is this like the nineties?" The boss, about to kick, says, "Stop wiggling."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #oil wells, #albanian wild life preserve, #extinction, #seven species, #useless, #species, #eat and grunt

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The boss is giving a presentation as he points to a slide of a dead animal. The boss says, "Our oil wells in the Elbonian Wildlife Preserve have caused the extinction of seven species." The boss continues, "Luckily, they were useless species who did nothing but eat and grunt." Wally is sitting beside Dilbert, eating a doughnut and grunting, "Mm..mm..mm.."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #master of delegation, #footsteps, #third thing, #valuable time, #vendor, #two minute call, #Funny, #conversation

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The Boss is hiding behind a doorway as Dilbert walks toward him. The Boss thinks, "The Master of Delegation hears the footsteps of his prey." Sticking his head out the door, The Boss says, "Hi." A startled Dilbert exclaims, "Gaaa!!" The Boss says to Dilbert, "Call this vendor and tell him I want the third thing he told me about." Dilbert says to The Boss, "Okay. That will save two minutes of your valuable time." Dilbert says, "When the vendor asks me dozens of questions should I just guess at the answers?" Dilbert asks The Boss, "Or would you prefer to spend an hour giving me enough background so you can avoid a two-minute call?" Dilbert says, "You know what's funny? This conversation lasted a minute... And there are two of us." The Boss asks, "Are you done?" Dilbert says, "I think you wrote down your own phone number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2001's comic on:


Tags #never thought, #organic pain, #racing toward oblivion, #self delusion, #key to happiness

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "The key to happiness is self-delusion." Dobert says to Dilbert, "Don't think of yourself as an organic pain collector racing toward oblivion." Dilbert says, "I've never had that thought... Until now." Dogbert says, "Don't blame me; I said don't."