Software Is Worn Comic Strips - Page 9
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300 Results for Software Is Worn
View 81 - 90 results for software is worn comic strips. Discover the best "Software Is Worn" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 22,
2016
Elbonian Messenger
Tags #secret, #security, #national security, #information, #human error, #spying, #encryption, #technology, #trust, #espionage
Transcript
Elbonian: I am the totally legitimate Elbonian bicycle messenger you called to deliver your encryption-breaking software. Boss: Hmmm... that's exactly what a terrorist would say. Elbonian: No I wouldn't. Boss: Just checking. Here's the flash drive.
Thursday April 21,
2016
Be Careful With Anti Encryption Software
Tags #national security, #privacy, #technology, #encryption, #security, #human error, #secrets
Transcript
Dilbert: Here's the flash drive with our anti-encryption software. Don't let it get into the wrong hands or it will eliminate all privacy on Earth. Do you understand? Boss: Blah, blah, software.
Tuesday April 19,
2016
For The Good Of The Country
Tags #apple, #iphone, #technology, #national security, #privacy, #terrorism, #encryption
Transcript
Boss: The government wants us to make software to crack our own encryption. Dilbert: That sounds evil. Boss: It's for the good of the country. Dilbert: Can I test it on your phone? Boss: You'd have to kill me first. Dilbert: That would be two good things for the country.
Monday April 18,
2016
Government Wants Access To Data
Tags #national security, #privacy, #technology, #big business, #terrorism
Transcript
CEO: The government wants us to make software that can unlock the encrypted data of our users. Either we choose privacy or national security. Should we betray our customers or should we enable terrorists? Figure out which one is more profitable and get back to me. Boss: On it.
Tuesday March 29,
2016
Asok's Legacy
Tags #judge, #judging, #overshare, #sharing, #socks, #guest artist, #donna oatney, #legal
Transcript
CEO: Do you ever worry about your legacy? Asok: I worry about someone finding out my socks are so worn out that all I have left are the ankle parts. CEO: Well, that's enough about you.
Sunday March 13,
2016
Tags #managing, #work ethic, #laziness, #deception, #trick
Transcript
Boss: IS the software done yet? Wally: That depends. Do you have any new feature requests? Boss: Only three. Wally: Then it's not done, is it? Boss: Well, no, I guess not. So... when will it be done? Wally: It will be done one week after you give me your last changes. But I believe you taught us that change is good. So either you can be a stagnant bureaucrat or a dynamic leader with lots of changes. It's a question of free will, really. Boss: I have to be somewhere else.
Sunday March 06,
2016
Tags #insult, #offense, #engineer, #programmer, #coding, #anger, #technology, #engineering
Transcript
Man: How's the software coming? Alice: Still waiting for you to give me the specs so I can start. Man: I already told you it's a cloud app that does data. Hey, I can't do your job for you. You have to meet me halfway. Aren't you supposed to be "agile?" I mean, how hard is it to rearrange zeroes and ones all day? Should I ask again tomorrow? Alice: Sure, if you're alive.
Sunday January 31,
2016
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse, #paradox, #logic
Transcript
Boss: How's the software coming along? Wally: We're in the Zeno's paradox phase of the project. Boss: The what? Wally: It means every step we take gets us halfway closer to launch. Boss: Can you keep up that pace? Wally: I'm hoping it will look that way. Boss: Is Zeno's paradox a real thing? Dilbert: You'll find out. Narrator: Next Week. Boss: How's your project? Wally: Halfway closer than last week.
Saturday January 16,
2016
Unexpected Things Happen
Friday January 15,
2016
Almost Done With Software
Tags #procrastination, #work ethic, #excuse, #laziness
Transcript
Boss: Is the software almost done? Wally: Yes, almost. Not the final release-- more like a beta MVP. Maybe more of an alpha. Boss: Have you even started? Wally: The mental stuff is almost done.