Something New Comic Strips - Page 9
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1000 Results for Something New
View 81 - 90 results for something new comic strips. Discover the best "Something New" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 10,
2019
Tags #avoidance, #irritation, #lunch, #office workers, #relationships, #coworkers
Transcript
Tina: You should meet the new guy in marketing. You two would get along great. I'll set up a lunch. Dilbert: Why? Tina: Because he reminds me of you. Dilbert:That isn't a reason. Tina: Okay, he is free tomorrow for lunch. I'll tell him to meet you in the lobby. Dilbert: I still don't see why the three of us need to go to lunch. Tina: It's just the two of you. I'm busy tomorrow. Man: I hear you're a lot like me. Dilbert: Sadly, yes.
Friday February 08,
2019
Forming Your Own Opinions
Tags #Opinion, #social media, #current events, #smartphone
Transcript
Boss: I used to form my own opinions about current events. Now I just copy whatever the people I follow on social media say. Dilbert: Where do they get their opinions from? Boss: From something called an algorithm.
Monday February 04,
2019
Robot Has A Cyborg
Tags #insults, #Kids, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #smartphone
Transcript
Alice: Today I saw a kid on a hoverboard using a smartphone with headphones. It was like a creepy new species that is half-human and half-robot. Robot: That's my son. He's a cyborg. Alice: I'll report myself to human resources.
Tuesday January 29,
2019
New Forms
Tags #business, #money, #office, #office workers, #efficiency
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you approve my budget request? Boss: No, you used the old form. Dilbert: Do we have new forms? Boss: In hindsight, we should have funded the creation of new budget request forms before we made the old ones obsolete.
Friday January 25,
2019
Self Driving Car Named Carl
Tags #automobile driving, #cars, #intelligence, #sarcasm, #technology, #threat
Transcript
The self-driving car named Carl. Dilbert: Carl, take me to the grocery store. Carl: Do you know that if I drive you off a cliff, you will die, whereas I would respawn in a new body? Dilbert: Maybe I'll walk. Carl: Maybe you should.
Tuesday January 15,
2019
More Accurate Job Description
Tags #distraction, #frustration, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: I updated my job description to be more accurate. Boss: "I try to do something and then I get interrupted a jillion times until the thing no longer matters." Sounds like you need some extra micro-managing. Dilbert: I have to take this call.
Tuesday January 01,
2019
New Year's Day
Tags #holidays, #new year's day, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: Happy random calendar date. I'll be celebrating by doing nothing fun or useful all day because everything is closed. Dogbert: You could visit your mom. Dilbert: How's that different from what I just said?
Monday December 31,
2018
New Year Resolution
Tags #holidays, #new year, #sarcasm, #weight, #new year's resolutions
Transcript
Carol: Do you have any New Year's resolutions? Dilbert: I resolve to not make major decisions about my life based on random calendar dates. Carol: So...nothing about your weight? Dilbert: Worst holiday ever.
Tuesday December 18,
2018
Bringing The Outdoors In
Tags #desk, #excited, #nature, #office, #office workers
Transcript
Dilbert: Something exciting happened at work today. We reconfigured the cubicles, and now I have a partial view of a potted plant. Dogbert: You're happy about seeing half of a potted plant? Dilbert: I call it bringing the outdoors in.
Monday December 17,
2018
The Candy Honor System
Tags #candy, #irritation, #office workers, #steal, #stealing food, #office, #trust
Transcript
Carol: I put a candy bowl on my desk, and someone stole the entire bowl within five minutes. I'm old enough to remember when the honor system meant something. What happened to trust? Boss: Maybe the candy wasn't as good back then.