Success Rate Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

198 Results for Success Rate

View 81 - 90 results for success rate comic strips. Discover the best "Success Rate" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choosing, #electronic mail, #successful habits, #eight things, #inspirational links, #emails, #change subject, #huge success

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you see my email about the eight things that successful people do? Dilbert: Yes. I did all eight things and now I'm a huge success. Boss: No you're not. Dilbert: I'm not? How's that possible? I did all of the things that successful people do. This only makes sense if the inspirational links you send me every day are a complete waste of time! So which one is it? Am I a huge success or do you email me worthless things? Boss: Maybe we should just change the subject. Dilbert: Is that what successful people do?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gut in charge, #gut instinct, #ignoring certain people, #key to success, #morse code, #never right, #thinking, #wants a sandwhich

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The key to success is ignoring the people who say it can't be done. Dilbert: What if they're all right? Boss: They aren't right! Dilbert: Really? Other people are never right? Boss: You have to trust your gut! Dilbert: My gut is telling me that everything your're saying is ridiculous. It also says it wants a sandwich right now. I'd stay, but I'm putting my gut in charge of my decisions. Wally: My gut sends me messages in Morse code. Here comes one now.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #obstinacy, #studies show, #offering customers, #problem, #prevent success, #many otions, #hinderance

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Studies show that offering customers too many options can prevent them from buying. Boss: Studies?? That doesn't sound like a real thing. Dilbert: I don't know what to do now. Boss: Maybe that's the problem.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #slapped ceo, #report says, #success is following your instinct, #being passionate, #engaged, #creative, #meaningful, #office meeting, #literal meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: This report says you slapped our CEO senseless after he said they key to success is following your instinct. Alice: I was following my instinct. I was also being passionate, engaged, and creative. Catbert: Apparently the things you say actually mean stuff. CEO: How was I to know!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #key to success, #follow instinct, #slap you, #stop babbling, #relax, #good feelings, #slap

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The key to success is to follow your instinct. Alice: My instinct tells me to slap you until you stop babbling nonsense. CEO: Please don't do that. Alice: Relax. I have a good feeling about it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #career scuccess, #babbling jargon, #special gift, #paid for nothing, #lead by example

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The key to career success is finding your special gift. Wally: My special gift is getting paid for doing nothing but babbling jargon. Boss: Maybe I should lead by example. Wally: Maybe you already did.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #surprise, #work ethic, #having passion

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The key to success is having passion for what you do! Dilbert: You make a good point. I quit. Wally: I'm out of here. Alice: Me, too. CEO: You promised me they wouldn't listen. Boss: It caught me by surprise, too.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apathy, #children & adults, #genetic makeup, #success, #upbringing, #warm thermos, #curious type, #mother, #coffee, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Do you think success is mostly a function of your genetic makeup or your upbringing? Wally: My mom raised me by putting a warm thermos of coffee in my crib and going out for the day. And I turned out great. Asok: I have no follow-up questions, in case you wondered. Wally: I'm not the curious type.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paying bills, #trees, #off site document, #storage costs, #out of control, #core bsuiness, #trees are jerks, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our off-site document storage costs are growing out of control. At this rate, our core business can be summarized as "put trees in jail." This is when you say something wise and helpful. CEO: Trees are jerks.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #discussion, #how-to, #obstinacy, #rules of leadership, #context, #books, #different approach, #real leaders, #magic formula, #gullible baboon, #throughout history, #random book, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm reading a great management book about the rules of leadership. Dilbert: Allow me to put that in context. There are probably 10,000 books about leadership, and each one has a different approach. And there are millions of real leaders, of which no two are alike. Moreover, every situation is unique and requires a different type of leader. And yet this one author has found a magic formula to transform you from a gullible baboon into a great leader. And that makes sense because all great leaders throughout history achieved success by reading a random book. Boss: I don't like context. Dilbert: It isn't popular.