Surpasses Last Remnets Comic Strips - Page 9
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353 Results for Surpasses Last Remnets
View 81 - 90 results for surpasses last remnets comic strips. Discover the best "Surpasses Last Remnets" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday September 05,
2015
Topper Never Sleeps
Tags sleep, tired, brag, bragging, braggart, absurd, competition, top, embellish, embellishment, exaggeration, health
Transcript
Topper. Dilbert: I only slept four hours last night. Topper: That's nothing. I was born awake and decided to stay that way. Dilbert: Lack of sleep is making me a little loopy. Topper: I have a human head collection.
Wednesday August 05,
2015
Ted Died Last Week
Wednesday June 24,
2015
Wally's Hobby
Tags compliment, insult, backhanded compliment, hobby, obliviousness, deception
Transcript
Wally: Your strategy looks like a genius way to fight the last war. Boss: Thank you. Wally: No problem. You owe me a compliment. At what point does insulting your boss and getting away with it count as a hobby?
Wednesday March 04,
2015
Ceo Inflates His Own Head
Tags bonus, ceos, competition, executives, height, money, salary, wages
Transcript
Catbert: Now that our policy is to pay people based on height, your CEO salary is capped, too. CEO: That's what you think. Watch what happens when I hold my nose and close my mouth and blow. Catbert: Well, I guess it only needs to last until bonus season.
Monday January 26,
2015
What Phase Of The Project
Tags insult, insulting, project, questioning
Transcript
Boss: What phase is your project in? Dilbert: This is the phase where people ask stupid questions. Boss: How long does it last? Dilbert: It isn't looking good for today.
Sunday January 25,
2015
Tags alienation, deception, strategy, toxic, toxic relationship, work ethic, useless, ambitous, meetings, incomplete information, anxious, hateful
Transcript
Wally: I'm already useless, but I'm thinking about becoming toxic as well. Dilbert: That seems ambitious for you. Wally: Think it through. As a useless person, I still get invited to meetings because I don't cause much trouble. But if I go full-toxic, no one will invite me to meetings in the first place. I can avoid a lot of work by nipping it in the bud. Dilbert: Is it hard to be toxic? How do you do it? Wally: It's easy. All you do is provide incomplete information that makes people anxious and hateful. I can't tell you what was said in that last meeting, but I defended you.
Saturday January 10,
2015
Topping Our Of Category
Tags competition, hyperbole, lying, topping, sleepless, kung fu, divert asteroid, c=ollison, collision course
Transcript
Alice: I only slept three hours last night. Topper: That's nothing! I used kunk fu to divert an asteroid that was on a collision course with Earth. Alice: Topping needs to be in the same category! Topper: Only if you're bad at it! Hoo-ha!
Sunday December 28,
2014
Tags arguing, email, expectations, logic, sleep, winning, work ethic, promptly respond, employees, necessary, brain function, succumbs to leadership, dysfunctional moron, confsuion, win converstions, ceo, health, business
Transcript
CEO: You didn't promptly respond to my email last night. Dilbert: You sent that email at 1 a.m. CEO: I expect my employees to be checking email at all times. Dilbert: Sleep is necessary for normal brain function. Anyone who succumbs to your leadership on this topic will turn into a dysfunctional moron in 48 hours. CEO: I don't see where you're going with this. It's all so confusing to my brain. So tired... can't stay awake... Dilbert: I don't usually win conversations this decisively.
Saturday November 29,
2014
Alice Is Rested From Vacation
Tags anger, relaxation, stress, vacation, work, rested, aftreglow, text message, enraged
Transcript
Alice: I feel so rested and relaxed after my vacation. I wonder how long this afterglow will last because... excuse me while I check this text message. Dilbert: Is it too late to start timing it? [Alice is on fire]
Wednesday October 01,
2014
Tags drinking, hiring, personality tests, sales, sales personnel, sociopaths, storytelling skills, morgue, selfie, dead guy, super drunk, hired, sales person, new hire, business
Transcript
Boss: I can tell a lot from an applicant's storytelling skills. So tell me a story. Man: Last week, I broke into a morgue and took a selfie with a dead guy. But in my defense, I was super drunk. Boss: I hired a new salesperson.