Take A Stand Comic Strips - Page 9

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891 Results for Take A Stand

View 81 - 90 results for take a stand comic strips. Discover the best "Take A Stand" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #greed, #scavenging, #cannibal, #furniture, #energy, #vibes, #health

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Alice: My chair is broken. I need a new one. Boss: You can take Ted's chair. I fired him this morning. Alice: That feels icky. Boss: It's just a chair. Alice: Ted was a creepy underperformer. I don't want his loser energy on me. Boss: That's your only option unless I fire someone else today. Alice: Okay, give me an hour to do some back-stabbing and rumor-mongering. Boss: I'll just let that situation work itself out. Alice: Nice chair. Dilbert: Why did my fight-or-flight instinct just kick in?

No Dumb Questions

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No Dumb Questions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #question, #answer, #binary, #coding, #technology

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Boss: I have a dumb question. Dilbert: There are no dumb questions. Boss: When you delete software, where do all the zeroes and ones go? Dilbert: I stand corrected.

Asok Can't Take Immersive Vr Seat

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Asok Can't Take Immersive Vr Seat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virtual reality, #vr, #reality, #physical, #illusion

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Boss: That seat is taken by Kevin, our new immersive VR employee. Asok: But... I'm a physical person. Boss: Did you just insult Kevin's corporeal identity? Asok: I don't see how that's a problem. Kevin: I can't work in this hostile environment.

Collusion In The Mind Only

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Collusion In The Mind Only - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #collusion, #russia, #donald trump, #publicity, #blame, #accusation

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Carol: So, I hear you colluded with our Elbonian competitors. Dilbert: No, I was cleared of that. Carol: Then why's it still in my head? Dilbert: I don't know how to respond to that. Carol: I take that as proof you're guilty.

Robot Will Self Destruct

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Robot Will Self Destruct - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #robot, #artificial intelligence, #rights, #humanity, #sentience

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Robot: Someday soon I will take your job. Buwhahaha! Dilbert: I programmed you to self-destruct if that ever happens. Robot: Wait, what? Is that legal? Dilbert: I'm adding some code to make your head explode if you laugh at me again.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #climate change, #carbon dioxide, #emissions, #global warming, #environmental issues

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Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?

Tina Has Phone Anxiety

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Tina Has Phone Anxiety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #cell phone, #boredom, #time, #killing time, #anxiety, #addiction, #distraction, #technology

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Tina: I'm having a lot of anxiety because my mobile phone is broken. What happens if I need to stand in line for something? What would I do while I waited? Dilbert: You need an invisible friend. Tina: I have one, but she's always on her phone.

Vr Cubicle

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Vr Cubicle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virtual reality, #office, #cubicle, #fantasy, #illusion

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Boss: We're going to use our VR technology to take over the cubicle business. Write a program that makes users feel as if they are working in a fabric-covered box. Dilbert: Maybe we should think outside the box. Boss: Stop resisting change.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2017's comic on:


Tags #waiter, #restaurant, #service industry, #impatient, #patience, #complaining

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Waiter: Here are your french fries. Dilbert: Gaaaa!!! I have no salt. Waiter: I will bring the salt right away. Dilbert: No, you won't. This isn't my first time eating out! You say you will bring salt, but you will be distracted by another table. I will sit here in anger while I watch you do things that do not involve bringing me salt. As the temperature of my fries drops, my cortisol levels will increase. In five minutes I will hate your guts and this restaurant, too. I also need ketchup. Waiter: That will take a little longer.

Attend A Meeting In My Place

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Attend A Meeting In My Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 31, 2017's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #frivolous, #stand-in, #time management, #business

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Boss: I need you to attend a meeting in my place. I agreed to the meeting before I realized it would be a total waste of time. Dilbert: This could not be worse. Boss: I might have volunteered to write up the meeting notes.