Talking Comic Strips - Page 9
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Character
268 Results for Talking
View 81 - 90 results for talking comic strips. Discover the best "Talking" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday May 03,
2016
Ted Wonders If Boss Said Something
Tags secret, keeping secrets, panic, worry
Transcript
Ted: I saw you talking to my boss. Did he say anything about my project? Dilbert: Um... Ted: Your hesitant response tells me you know something and he asked you not to tell me. Dilbert: Um... Ted: Is something terrible going to happen to me? Dilbert: Um...
Sunday April 10,
2016
Tags communication, managers, training, obstacle, laziness
Transcript
Dilbert: Can I take a class to improve my communication skills? Boss: What are you talking about? Dilbert: I want to take a class that teaches me how to communicate better. Boss: I don't understand what you're asking me. Dilbert: I am asking permission to take a class to help me communicate better. Boss: I see your lips moving but I can't figure out what you're asking. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! There's no way to get there from here! Boss: I'm glad I took that management class on how to not listen. It already paid off.
Thursday January 28,
2016
Carol And The Terrorist
Tags terrorist, terrorism, racist, race, muslim, assume, assumption, accuse, accusation
Transcript
Carol: I hear you're a terrorist sympathizer. Asok: What? No! I'm not even close. I don't want to hate you! Please stop radicalizing me! Carol: Sweating, agitated, he looks suspicious to me. Asok: Who are you talking to???!
Sunday January 17,
2016
Tags sexism, sexist, misogyny, conversation, talking
Transcript
Alice: You give Wally your full attention when he talks, but not me. You hang on every word the man says. But if I try to talk, you act distracted in five seconds. Wally gets more eye contact, too. You don't even look at me half the time I'm talking. Deep down, in your DNA, you know you are a sexist because you don't take me seriously when I speak to you. There is no other explanation, so don't insult me by trying. Dilbert: I give both of you the same amount of attention, but you spread it over more words. Alice: I hate both of you. Dilbert: Did I play that wrong? Wally: Yup.
Tuesday December 08,
2015
Women Communicate Better
Tags gender, listening, talking, conversation, communication, roles
Transcript
Alice: your project failed because there were no women on the team. Women have better communication skills. Every study shows that. Are you listening? Dilbert: Outwardly, yes.
Wednesday July 15,
2015
Advice
Tags ego, talking, conversation, Advice, insult, insulting, suggestion
Transcript
Coworker: Do you want some advice? Dilbert: Nope. Advice is just ego and ignorance disguised as helpfulness. Coworker: Then how will I hear myself talk? Dilbert: The supply cabinet has an awesome echo.
Sunday July 05,
2015
Tags ideas, problems, talking, solution, obliviousness, criticism, honesty
Transcript
Boss: Why didn't you tell me our biggest vendor pulled out of the deal? Dilbert: If I told you my problems, you would suggest solutions. Your solutions generally don't make sense. But you are my boss, so I would be obliged to waste time looking into your suggestions. So if you try to solve my problem, I will have two problems instead of one. Boss: Sometimes my ideas are good! Right? Dilbert: That is a dangerous way to think.
Friday May 15,
2015
Alice Uses Social Media
Tags social media, twitter, careers, competition, deception, trick, flame, internet, technology
Transcript
Alice: Well, Ted, it looks like you and I are competing for the same promotion. My plan is to use social media to make you look bad. Catbert: I fired Ted for trash-talking you on Twitter. Alice: I don't have a social media account and it still works!
Saturday April 11,
2015
Embellishing Resumes
Tags resume, lying, deception, accomplishments, management, success
Transcript
Catbert: I discovered that one of your employees embellished on his resume. Boss: That's outrageous! Fire him for lying to me! Catbert: I'm talking about the version he updated today. It says he accomplished things while working for you. Boss: That doesn't sound right.
Thursday January 08,
2015
Showering In Tube Clothes
Tags clothes, clothing, efficiency, engineers, laundry, nerd, tube clothes, shower, shower drain
Transcript
Dilbert: I discovered that I can wear my tube clothing in the shower! It's like doing laundry and taking a shower at the same time! I can add one more efficiency, but I'd need to replumb the shower drain. Tina: Please stop talking!!!

