Took Desk Comic Strips - Page 9
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Character
1000 Results for Took Desk
View 81 - 90 results for took desk comic strips. Discover the best "Took Desk" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday March 20,
2013
Tags #schedule, #boos, #secretary, #desk, #inquiry, #glare, #time alotted
Transcript
The Boss; whats on my schedule? Carol: For the next five minutes you're scheduled to glare at me like an idiot. Carol: Four minutes to go.
Wednesday March 13,
2013
Tags #app development, #forced labor camp, #frustration, #private offuce, #work ethic
Transcript
Dilbert: The North Elbonians accused me of being a spy and put me in a forced labor camp. It sounds worse than it was. I had a private office and all I did was app development. Boss: How did you escape? Dilbert: I didn't. I took a personal day to tell you how much you suck.
Wednesday October 24,
2012
Tags #death & dying, #death certificate, #staple on head, #no return messages
Transcript
Alice: You haven't returned any of my messages, so I took the liberty of making a death certificate for you. I'll just staple it to the back of your head so everyone can see it. Are we good here?
Sunday August 05,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #work ethic, #top engineers, #competetors, #firing, #get rid of, #updating resume, #goes as planned, #hideous disese, #felt useuful, #threatening employment
Transcript
Boss: Wally, I'm sending you to a conference for the world's top engineers. With any luck, one of our competitors will try to poach you. That will save me the trouble of firing you. You'll be going with five other people I want to get rid of. I took the liberty of updating your resume. If this goes as planned, you'll destroy one of our competitors from within. Like a hideous disease. Make me proud! Wally: It was the first time I ever felt useful. I didn't like it.
Sunday June 17,
2012
Tags #telephones, #reprogrammed speed dial, #cellphone, #calls himself, #intelligence test, #hold on, #failed intelligence test, #20 minutes
Transcript
Dilbert: I reprogrammed our pointy-haired boss/ speed dial on his desk phone. Now every time he tries to use speed dial, it calls his own cellphone. It's like an intelligence test. I want to see how long it takes him to figure it our. Boss: I'd better take this. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hold on. Hold on. For the hundredth time, don't tell me to hold on! I'm telling you to hold on! Carol: Twenty minutes so far.
Tuesday May 15,
2012
Tags #confusing, #multiple pages, #public speaking, #real words, #small text, #unpersuasive, #computer, #desk, #no one can read, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you want me to put the chart on one page, which would make the text too small for you to see? Or do you prefer a multiple-page approach that is confusing and unpersuasive? Boss: It's probably better if no one can read it. Dilbert: I won't bother using real words.
Friday May 04,
2012
Tags #inventions, #tazer, #cell phone, #boss's desk, #tased, #technology
Transcript
Wally: I invented a taser that looks exactly like a cellphone. Boss: Gaaa-a-a-a-a-a-a. Wally: I left it on our boss's desk, but it sounds like he's done with it.
Monday April 23,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #lawyers & attorneys, #apps, #contact information, #users address books, #data, #office, #desk, #meeting, #store data, #business
Transcript
Coworker: Please tell me our apps don't steal contact information from our users' address books. Boss: We upload the data but we don't store it. Coworker: That's like saying I can date your wife if I put a bag over her head. Boss: That could work. Coworker: I don't think I'm getting through to you.
Tuesday April 10,
2012
Tags #calendars, #desk, #meails, #meetings, #padtes, #schdeules, #secretary, #coordinates
Transcript
Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.
Friday December 16,
2011
Tags #gadgets, #phone heard, #phone scheduled meeting, #schedule a meeting., #secretaries (office), #digital world, #replaces humans
Transcript
Boss: Schedule a meeting with Dilbert and Alice for next Tuesday at ten. Phone: Done. Boss: Never mind. My phone took care of it. Awkward.