Truck Pulling Away Comic Strips - Page 9

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505 Results for Truck Pulling Away

View 81 - 90 results for truck pulling away comic strips. Discover the best "Truck Pulling Away" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #ridiculous, #explanation, #business

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Dilbert says, "Sorry I'm late. My company cut the travel budget so I had to hitch a ride with a serial killer." Dilbert says, "He took me to an abandoned slaughterhouse. I knocked him out with a hambone, stole his truck and drove directly here." Man says, "All I heard was 'Blah, blah, blah, I'm late.'" Dilbert says, "Don't make me get my hambone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2009's comic on:


Tags #job, #excuses, #argument, #depressed, #conversation, #business

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Dilbert works in collections Customer says, "My wife left me, my truck caught on fire, and all of my organs are failing." Dilbert says, "I work in a collections department." Customer says, "You win." Dilbert says, "Winning isn't what it used to be." a voice yells, "Your five minute break is over!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2008's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #bad idea, #saving & investment, #financial advisor, #diseased livestock, #sick cow, #aggregate, #math, #savvy, #education, #money

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Dogbert the financial adviser Dogbert: You should invest all of your money is diseased livestock. It would be unwise to invest in one sick cow, but if you aggregate a bunch of them together the risk goes away. It's called math. The boss: Suddenly I feel all savvy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #human reasources, #resume, #sense of desparation, #janitor, #clean toiltes, #bury janitor

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "I've seen your resume and I sense desperation." Catbert says, "Our janitor recently passed away, so I have a job for you." A man says, "You want me to clean toilets?" Catbert says, "No, I want you to bury the janitor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2008's comic on:


Tags #being moved, #50 miles each way, #hundred

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The Boss says, "Ted, you can keep your job but your office is being moved 50 miles away." Ted says, "Gosh, I guess I could drive another 50 miles each way." The Boss says, "How about a hundred?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2008's comic on:


Tags #new cubilces, #boss, #coworkers, #picked one, #anything changed

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Dilbert says, "I've been away from work so long, I wonder if anything has changed." The Boss says, "You weren't here when we moved to new cubicles so your coworkers picked one for you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 12, 2008's comic on:


Tags #mock interview, #weasel, #edit trainer, #costume, #human costume

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Dogbert the Media Trainer Dogbert: "Let's try a mock interview to see how you respond under pressure. Are you a stinking weasel trying to pass as human?!!!" Weasel: What gave it away? Dogbert: "Honestly, it was a lucky guess."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 2008's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #hauled away, #human resources, #questioning mental stability, #sealed in concrete, #wrapped in plastic, #bodies hidden, #business

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The Boss says, "Go to human resources for a psychological evaluation." Dilbert says, "Why??? Have I said anything that is abnormal?" The Boss says, "You're an engineer. Everything you say is abnormal." Catbert says, "Question one: How many bodies are hidden in the crawl space under your house?" Dilbert says, "If they are hidden, how would I know?" Catbert says, "Well, maybe you would smell them." Dilbert says, "Not if they were wrapped in heavy plastic and sealed in concrete." Wally says, "How'd it go?" Dilbert says, "Not so good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2008's comic on:


Tags #illusion of value, #meeting, #obvious, #maintain illusion, #business

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Dilbert: It's obvious what I need to do next. But I'll let you tell me so you can maintain the illusion of value. The Boss: stop being this way. Dilbert: I saw that coming a mile away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #board of directors, #ceo, #hired mole, #intern request, #janitor, #mole, #pulling rank, #rat, #rodent, #senior vp

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Asok: Who will present my findings to the board of directors?" The Boss: They only listen to the CEO. And he only listens to the senior vice presidents, and they only listen to the... Asok: Could you show this to the janitor for me?" RatBert: Whoa! Whoa! You don't talk to me directly!"