Voting The Customer Comic Strips - Page 9

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221 Results for Voting The Customer

View 81 - 90 results for voting the customer comic strips. Discover the best "Voting The Customer" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2008's comic on:


Tags #project, #customer calls, #can't deliver on time, #features needed, #getting waterboarded, #birthday, #price went up

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Dilbert: My project is on hold. Do you need any help on yours? Alice: Sure. Call these customers and tell them we can't deliver on time or with the features they need. Dilbert: Do you have any tasks that don't feel like getting waterboarded on your birthday? Alice: And tell them the price went up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #tech support, #asks customer, #information, #transfers call, #same questions, #barrier to progress, #other guy

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The Boss: "Asok, I need you to fill in at tech support for a few days." "You'll be the guy who asks the customer for information, then transfers the call to another person who asks exactly the same questions." Asok: "Wouldn't that make me a barrier to progress?" " The Boss: Only if the other guy actually helped."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #customer, #debunked theory, #lingerie store, #refrigeartor, #snowtires, #stomp tail, #customer always right

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Ratbert: I'd like to buy some snow tires for a refrigerator. CLerK: "This is a lingerie store. Get lost before I stomp on your tail." Ratbert: "I think I debunked the theory that the customer is always right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2007's comic on:


Tags #always wrong, #recommend shopping

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RatBert: I'm always wrong about everything. What can I do to fix that? Dogbert: "I recommend shopping. The customer is always right." Ratbert: "Shopping makes me smart?!!" Dogbert: "You aren't shopping yet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #prepare proposal, #prodcuts, #expertise, #figure out, #expensive bidder, #bid low, #essential upgardes, #randomly assigned, #create lies, #proposal, #can't win

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The Boss: "Prepare a proposal for this customer." Dilbert: "Why me?" "You were walking by. I had it in my head." "We can't win this business. We don't have the right products or expertise." The Boss: "Just say we do. We'll figure it out later." Dilbert: "They know we don't. And we'd still be the most expensive bidder." The Boss: "Bid low. We'll make it up with change orders and unexpected essential upgrades." Dilbert: "In other words, I've been randomly assigned to create lies for a proposal we can't win for a service we can't perform." The Boss: "You make competing sound bad."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 2007's comic on:


Tags #vendor, #wait to buy, #new model, #sales, #negotiate, #business

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Dilbert: When do you expect to come out with a new model? Vendor: In about two months. Dilbert: I'll wait and buy the new model. Vendor: Did I say two months? I meant never. Dilbert: Never? That must mean your company is going out of business and won't support this product. Vendor: What's a length of time between two months and never that would cause you to buy now?" Dilbert: One year. Vendor: Our new model comes out in a year. Dilbert: I'll wait until then. Vendor: You're the worst customer ever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2006's comic on:


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You work in a cubicle while your routers and servers have a private office with their own climate control. "The machines have taken over. Your job is to provide them with electricity." "And do you think those electronic voting machines care about your opinion?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2006's comic on:


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Does marketing have any data on customer preferences? Errr grunt! "This is disturbing on so many levels."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2006's comic on:


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Our sales guy vastly underbid a job. Now it's my project to install the system in a way that's profitable. "Blame your customer for underspecifying the features then charge her through the nose for change orders." "Three million dollars for an electrical plug?" "The base model uses a potato battery."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2006's comic on:


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"Per your suggestion, I asked our customer to voluntarily pay us more money to cover our bidding error." "It might surprise you to learn that our customer doesn't like that idea." "You probably made it sound like a bad thing."