Wild Guess Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

242 Results for Wild Guess

View 81 - 90 results for wild guess comic strips. Discover the best "Wild Guess" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #schedule, #conference room, #boss, #yell, #angry, #tie up, #pointy hair, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I need this room for my meeting." Dilbert says, "Wouldn't it make more sense for you to get a different room since we're already here?" The Boss says, "All of the conference rooms are booked." Dilbert says, "Okay, then I guess we should compare the importance of your meeting versus this one." The Boss says, "That's not how it works." The Boss says, "Conference rooms go to the highest ranked manager." Dilbert says, "It took me months to schedule this meeting!" The Boss says, "Scram." The Boss says, "The goal of this meeting is to figure out why nothing ever gets done around here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #update, #script, #accomplish, #work, #suspicious

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I made a script to write from the UFR SQL function to a log table I created for the DB so I can find the parameter errors." Wally says, "I'm giving you this status update while the script is running, so I'm accomplishing two things now." The Boss says, "How do I know you really did that thing you just said?" Wally says, "I guess now I'm doing your job too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #change, #communicate, #clear, #moron, #mock, #tease, #fuh, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "A successful transformation requires employees to feel ownership for the change." Alice says, "Change? What change?" Dilbert says, "Is there something we don't know?" The Boss says, "It's important that everyone has clear roles and responsibilities." Alice says, "What are you trying to tell us? Should we stop working on our projects?" The Boss says, "I'll keep you engaged and energized with my clear communication." The Boss says, "And as your leader, I will role-model the desired change." Alice says, "If he's our role model, I guess we need to act like morons who can't communicate." The Boss thinks, "I need new people." FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH FUH

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #volunteer, #project, #not enough resources, #flunky, #scared, #sucky, #laugh, #smile, #puppet boy, #dance, #happy

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "Guess what, Ted? I volunteered to run a critical project while knowing I don't have enough resources." Alice says, "When it becomes a crisis, I will delcare martial law and order you to become my flunky." Alice says, "In your face, puppet boy!" Ted says, "This day is turning out to be a little extra sucky."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer problem, #human error, #stupid, #mock, #cabbage

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Was it human error?" Dilbert says, "I doubt it" Dilbert says, "No human would be that stupid. My best guess is that a cabbage got access to your computer." The Boss says, "Cabbbages can't use computers." Dilbert says, "Can they tell when they're being mocked?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director of human resources, #email, #funny videos, #angry, #yell, #mouth open, #privacy, #guess, #hurts

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "100% of your email messages this month involved links to funny videos." Wally says, "The company is violating my right to privacy! This is an outrage!" Catbert says, "Actually, I was just guessing." Wally says, "It still hurts."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complain, #annoyed, #ted, #fire, #surprise, #meeting, #sit down, #lie, #wide eyes, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I spent the entire week cleaning up the mess that Ted left after you fired him." Ted says, "I didn't get fired. I'm right here." Wally says, "I guess it's just his word against mine."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fix control management system, #long time, #meeting, #leadership, #timeline, #failure, #annoyed, #blame others, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "What's taking you so long to fix the control management system?" Dilbert says, "Your leadership has taught me to give you laughably unrealistic timelines, then blame others when I miss deadlines." The Boss says, "You're not even doing that right." Dilbert says, "I guess I need more of your leadership."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #victor, #project, #cube, #instructions, #hold piece of paper, #shoot, #press button, #goat head, #transform, #machine

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Victor didn't leave us much documentation on his project." FZEEET! Dilbert says, "I guess that's what he meant by 'still working on the goat head issue.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #orders, #miserable, #cruel, #mean, #trip, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I need you to attend a three-day industry standards meeting in Elbonia." Dilbert says, "Why Elbonia?" The boss says, "Because Elbonia is the worst place on Earth. The member companies don't want this to look like a boondoggle." Dilbert says, "I guess three days won't be so bad." The boss says, "You're not allowed to eat."