With People Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for With People

View 81 - 90 results for with people comic strips. Discover the best "With People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Talk To The Experts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Talk To The Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answer, #bribe, #experts, #face mask, #faster, #managers & supervisors, #Opinion, #plan, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i can't approve your plan until i know what the experts say. dilbert: i can save us some time by talking to the people who bribe the experts. i'll get the same answer, but faster. boss yelling: ouch! the truth hurts! dilbert: take a deep breath. it will pass.

Dilbert Characters

Working From Home

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Working From Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #distractions, #estimate, #family issues, #ipad, #video conferencing, #yelling, #zoom, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert video conferencing: when do you think you can get me that estimate? employee on zoom yelling: get off the couch with your shoes! no! no! no! do not throw the iPad! aaah! i am going to strangle you! dilbert: how do you like working at home? employee still yelling: i'm on a zoom call! i said i'm on a call!!!

People Enjoy Context

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
People Enjoy Context - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #video conference, #zoom, #customer, #self, #human, #sarcasm, #face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: when you schedule the zoom call with the customer, be sure to include me. dilbert: do you plan to use up all of our time talking about yourself? boss: people enjoy context. dilbert: it's as if you have never met a human.

Building Codes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Building Codes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #lab, #construction, #building, #codes, #stringent, #guarantee, #rain, #mayor, #campaign, #sarcasm, #face mask, #false, #hope, #phase

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how's the new lab construction going? dilbert: i'm having some issues with the local building codes. they seem unnecessarily stringent. for example, we have to guarantee no rain touches the roof. boss: why? dilbert: no on knows. but if we donate to the mayor's campaign, the city will designate the roof a "horizontal wall." boss: and then we can begin construction? dilbert: no, that's just the beginnning of the false hope phrase.

Asok Is Overpaid

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Is Overpaid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #project, #technology, #time, #pay, #argue, #math, #face mask, #salary

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i finished my project in half the projected time. boss: that means i'm paying you twice as much as you deserve. asok: i don't think it means that at all. boss: you look dumb arguing with math.

No Mask For Zoom Call

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Mask For Zoom Call - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #zoom, #video conferencing, #face mask, #clinical, #study, #easy, #hate, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert video conferencing: you don't need a mask for a Zoom call. employee: can you back up that claim with a randomized clinical study? dilbert: i've noticed it's a lot easier to hate people lately.

Height Advantage

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Height Advantage - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company, #employement, #fired, #height, #hiring, #managers & supervisors, #pay cut, #short, #tall, #video conferencing, #zoom

View Transcript

Transcript

boss video conferencing with carl: carl, i hired you because you are tall, but now it doesn't matter because everyone looks the same height on zoom. your height advantage has disappeared, so today will be your last day with the company. carl: maybe instead you could cut my pay to the same level as short people. boss: that just might work.

Golden Age For Wally

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Golden Age For Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #6 feet, #avoid, #coffee, #eye contact, #face mask, #grocery shopping, #office workers, #social distancing, #upgrade, #Women

View Transcript

Transcript

wally at coffee pot talking to Dilbert:: social distancing has been a great upgrade to my life. in the old days, women avoided me by at least ten feet. now i often get within seven. i think it's because i'm better-looking with most of my face covered. especially if i wear a hat and sunglasses. and i learned that women will talk to me if i walk the wrong way down a grocery aisle. they're usually complaining but at least they make eye contact. it's sort of a golden age for people like me.

Proceed As If Nothing Happened

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Proceed As If Nothing Happened - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accomplish, #business, #face mask, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #people, #project, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: why did you tell our boss i have the wrong people on my project? dilbert: i didn't say that. in fact, i don't even know what you project is trying to accomplish, much less who is working with you on it. will we now proceed as if you didn't hear me say that? tina upset: they are not the wrong people.

Robots Will Sneak Up On Us

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Robots Will Sneak Up On Us - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argue, #business, #employees, #enginners, #managers & supervisors, #replace, #robots, #technology, #train

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we aren't yet ready to replace engineers with robots, but that day will sneak up on us. so i'd like all of you to train a robot to do your jobs, just so we are ready. dilbert: you want us to train our own replacements? boss thinking: this is another thing a robot would not argue about.