Worry Comic Strips - Page 9

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118 Results for Worry

View 81 - 90 results for worry comic strips. Discover the best "Worry" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stock market expert, buy stock, sell house, track record, one week chart, buy buy

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Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert says in front of the camera, "...Everyone should buy stock in that company. Sell your house if necessary." A man replies into the camera, "Should we worry that the P/E is 900, your track record is terrible and you only recommend stocks you own?" The Boss is sitting in his office watching TV. Dogbert's voice is heard through the TV, "Well, Ron, as you can see from the one-week chart, this stock only goes up." The Boss says into the phone, "Buy! Buy!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags selfish, dimwitted, six sigma consulatant, bog down meetings, process, can't hurt anything

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Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert is standing in front of a room. He says, "All of you are selfish and dimwitted but don't worry." Dogbert continues, "I'll teach you a process that will bog you down in meetings so you can't hurt anything." Asok panics and exclaims, "I can't move my arms!" The rest of the class is asleep.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags crossgrain on accounting, system, lose respect, job security, whole job, accounts erceivable, not expense, no complaints

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The Boss has his arm around Asok. He says to Ed, "Ed, I want you to crosstrain Asok on the accounting system." The Boss continues, "And don't worry that you'll lost respect and job security if Asok learns your whole job in one day." Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Asok says, "I don't think 'Accounts Receivable' is an expense." Ed replies, "No one has complained yet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags discovered oil, wild life perserve, elbonian, endangered species, no impact, drilled unicorn, dead, animals, drill fields

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The Boss: we've discovered oil in the Elbonian wild life preserve. DOnt worry about the endangered species. Our drilling will have no impact. ELbonian: oops

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags casula dress, encourage flirtatious, ladies concentrate, seater, turtleneck, warning cones

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Wally says to The Boss, "I worry that casual dress days encourage flirtatious behavior." Wally says, "I mean, look how adorable I am in my turtleneck sweater. How are the ladies supposed to concentrate?" Wally says to The Boss, "Do you think I should put warning cones around my cubicle?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project plan, without input, lied to me, skipped that step, already assigned blame, for failure

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Dilbert and Alice are seated together at a table when the Boss walks up and hands Dilbert a piece of paper. He says to Dilbert, "I finished the project plan without your input." As Dilbert reads the paper, the Boss goes on to say, "You would have lied to me anyway, so I just skipped that step." The Boss sits at the table with Dilbert and Alice and says, "I've already assigned blame for failure, but don't worry, it's just preliminary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags ceo selling stock, portfolio, routine diversification, sell, sudden panic, employees, boss, ceo, business

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Studying company financial information at his terminal, Dilbert exclaims: "Yikes! Our CEO is selling his stock!" At the Boss's office, the Boss reassures Dilbert: "Don't worry. It's routine diversification of his portfolio." Dilbert says: "Oh...I guess that's okay." Meanwhile the Boss stares at his computer screen and furiously works the keyboard as he thinks to himself: "Sell, sell, sell."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags alice, assisted suicide, brochure, job makes alice sick, doctor, doctors office, medical

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ALice sits in the doctor's office. Alice says, "Are you saying my job makes my sick?" Doctor says, "Don't worry there's a cure." The docotr hands Alice a pamphlet and says, "Here's a brochure on assisted suicide." Alice says, "How do you assists?" The doctor says, "I gave you the brochure."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Catbert, director, ceiling collapsed, complained, steel beam, hit head, happen in home, losing consciousness, suicide note, doubting story, questioning reality

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Caption: "CAtbert: H.R. Director". Catbert is at his desk. A voice says, "The ceiling in my work area collapsed." A man stands with a still beam stuck on his head. Catbert says, "No one else has complained." The man says, "A steel beam hit me in the head!" Catbert says, "How can I be sure it didn't happen in your home?" The man says, "There aren't any steel beams in my house!!" Catbert says, "Maybe you removed them with your head." The man says, "Uh-oh.... losing consciousness." and falls over. Catbert says, to the man's feet, "If you can hear me, don't worry! I'll write your suicide note!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags urgent document, overnight drop, nine minutes, spare, eight minutes, coffee fisrt, truck pulling away, box, wedge, back bumper

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Carol stands behind Alice who is at her computer. Carol says, "I'm taking your urgent document to the overnight drop box, with nine minutes to spare." Carol says, "The box is only eight minutes away. I'll stop for coffee first." Alice grimaces. Carol says, "Don't worry. If the truck is pulling away from the box, I'll wedge this in the back bumper." Carol holds out Alice's report. Alice makes the fists of death.