���������������������������R��� @Adgogo��� ������������������ ����������������������������������������������� Cwo Comic Strips - Page 9
93 Results for ���������������������������R��� @Adgogo��� ������������������ ����������������������������������������������� Cwo
View 81 - 90 results for ���������������������������r��� @adgogo��� ������������������ ����������������������������������������������� cwo comic strips. Discover the best "���������������������������R��� @Adgogo��� ������������������ ����������������������������������������������� Cwo" comics from Dilbert.com.
CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."
Boss says, "Old Johannsen has kept his job all of these years because no one else has his critical knowledge." Johannsen says, "Pss pss pss pss psss"B<R>The Boss says, "There's the worst-case scenario right there."
The Boss says, "I have a budget meeting tomorrow with our CFO." The Boss says, "I'll be competing against all of the other departments for precious budget dollars." The Boss says, "This won't be easy because all of the other departments are staffed with professional liars." Dilbert says, "That's a bit of an exaggeration, don't you think?" The Boss says, "What do you call marketing?" Dilbert says, "Okay, I'll give you that one." The Boss says, "Sales?" Dilbert says, "Right, but..." The Boss says, "P.R.?" Dilbert says, "Well, yes..." The Boss says, "Finance?" Dilbert says, "I forgot about that one." The Boss says, "Legal?" Dilbert says, "Wow." The Boss says, "Do the next one yourself." Dilbert says, "How about human resour... you win."
The Boss says, "Dilbert, what did you accomplish this week?" Dilbert says, "I doubled my sales and made the cover of Time magazine." The Boss says, "What?" Dilbert says, "Oh. Whoops. Sorry." Dilbert says, "For a moment there I confused my entrepreneurial fantasty life with my real job." Dilbert says, "I run a parallel career in my mind. In that world, I'm the founder of a hot start-up."B<R>Dilbert says, "It keeps my brain from fully realizing the horror of my actual career and trying to kill the rest of my body." Dilbert says, "But to answer you original question, this week I made some powerpoint slides that have no particular use." Dilbert says, "GAAA!!! My brain is trying to kill the rest of my body!" The Boss says, "Moving on..."
Dogbert: I'll need more than tall pants and traditional looking hair to get elected to president. "I'm hoping to form an unholy alliance with the military industrial complex." "You're willing to attack allies?" Dogbeert: "It's the highest R.O.I."
"Your project deadline is next month, and I can't imagine you finishing on time." "So I dinged you on your annual performance review." "But... I will finish on time." "Well, let's agree to disagree."<r>"What?!" "You're basing my raise on what you IMAGINE I won't do in the furture!" "Relax. If you do finish the project on time, I'll factor it into your next annual review." "Well... Okay. I guess it all averages out." One Year Later "Remember the project that I finished last year?" "No. But the new one looks like it will be late."
"We need more staff for prject Cribou.' "No. You're thinking of project Caribbean." "Caribou is like project muskrat but with lower P.R.O.R.C." "P.R.O.R.C?" "Projected return on research capital." "Is muskrat the enterprise software project?" "Um... No... That would be project muskrat." "Cancel project musk ox, move the staff over to project zebra, delay panda and sdquirrel and give me a status report on probosics monkey." "We don't have any projects with those names." "How's that my fault?"
The Boss hands a piece of paper to Carol and says, "Carol, take this list of key employees to Catbert." Carol looks at the list and says, "I don't see my name on here. Should I write it in?" The Boss responds, "Um.. no. You're not a key employee." Carol stands up and screams, "What?! Are you insane?!! If I'M not key, who is?" She continues, "Do you think this list can walk to the H.R. department on its own?" The Boss responds, "Well, I could put it in an interoffice envelope and mail it." He continues, "Basically, you have the same job as an envelope." Carol hands Catbert the list. Catbert asks, "Why do I need to downsize these employees?" To which Carol answers, "Because they're funKEY, just like it says."
The Boss: we've had seven hundred complaints about sexual harassment in the past month. From now on, employees must wear body cams to r record every interaction. Alice: Weren't all of this e complaints against our CEO? The boss: People misinterpret his warmness.
Dilbert: You spelled "crypto" wrong. Boss: No, I didn't. Dilbert: You spelled it "c-r-i-p-t-o". Boss: So? Dilbert: There is no "I" in crypto. Boss: That's how I learned to spell it. Dilbert: You learned it wrong. No one else spells it that way. Boss: Now you're criticizing me for being an inovator? Dilbert: It's not innovation! It's a mistake! Why can't you admit you are wrong?! Boss: Why can't you?