10 Dollars Bug Fix Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

405 Results for 10 Dollars Bug Fix

View 81 - 90 results for 10 Dollars Bug Fix comic strips. Discover the best "10 Dollars Bug Fix" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dozen bugs, #bugs in software, #fix for 20k, #defective porduct, #evil euphria, #no choice, #making fortune, #single source tsrategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert tells a salesman: "We found a dozen bugs in the software you sold us." The salesman answers: "We can fix these bugs for $20,000. Dilbert is shocked: "What?" Dilber says: "You can't charge us to fix you own defective product!" The salesman laughs boisterously. He explains: "Sorry...I was overcome by an evil euphoria." Dilbert says: "I guess we have to pay. We have no choice!" Reaching for his cell-phone, the salesman says: "Excuse me." The salesman speaks into his cell-phone: "Put more bugs in the software! I'm making a fortune out here!" Dilbert thinks: "I'm starting to question our single source strategy."

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #powerpoint slides, #ceos visit, #needs to fix

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice, "Have you finished your 'powerpoint' slides for the CEO's visit?" Alice responds, "Yes. I'm focusing on all the things we do wrong. Because that's what he needs to fix." The Boss' jaw drops. Alice continues, "Just kidding, there's no useful information." The Boss replies, "Don't joke!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #worthless, #incompetent bug, #two phone calls and a meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "I need your help yelling at a guy to make him do his job." The Boss approaches the coworker from behind and yells, "You worthless, incompetent bug!!! I'll have your head!!!" The Boss asks the coworker, "How much work did that buy?" The coworker responds, "Two phone calls and a meeting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decompose, #digits, #million dollars, #planned obsolescene, #upgarde, #upgrade now, #version, #newest software

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is meeting with a salesman. The salesman says, "For only a million dollars, you can upgrade to our newest software version." The salesman continues, "Or you can slowly decompose in the miasma of our planned obsolescence." Dilbert says, "We can't afford to upgrade now." The salesman holds up a device and replies, "Say goodbye to the digits three and nine."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reapir, #defective co workers, #paramoid, #invited to meetings, #fix her, #trade in, #liar, #moron, #whistler

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert carries Peri Noid over his shoulder towards a shop with a sign that reads, "Repair Defective Co-workers." Dilbert holds Peri up and says to The Garbageman, "She's paranoid about not being invited to meetings. Can you fix her?" The Garbageman replies, "Nope." Dilbert asks, "Can I trade her in?" The Garbageman responds, "Would you like a liar, a moron, or a whistler?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #approve plan, #software commitee, #soar like eagles, #millions of dollars, #sidetracked, #eagles, #software, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "We can either wait three months for the software committee to approve our plan..." Dilbert: "Or we can soar like eagles, and act without approval, saving millions of dollars!" Dilbert: "Please don't be sidetracked by the analogy." The Boss: "Since when do eagles use software?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #target market, #one customer, #10 thousand units, #shop carefully

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "Our target market is people who don't shop carefully." "Our product is designed to attack the user and force him to reorder." "We only have one customer but we've sold 10,000 units."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #over paid, #4 dollars, #honest, #reports mistake, #bowels of bureaucarzy, #correct injustice

View Transcript

Transcript

ASOK: There is an error on my tiny paycheck. It is four dollars too much. The Boss: Gasp! Now you must travel to the bowels of the bureaucracy to correct the injustice, Asok: or I could just keep it as a reward for my honesty. The Boss: Bowles I say!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #real estate agent, #10 million, #first property, #covered with frogs, #banshee farm, #access road, #boiling cesspool

View Transcript

Transcript

The real estate agent The first property costs $10 million. Its covered with endangered frogs and its next to a banshee farm. The access road is a narrow path across a boiling cesspool of tormented souls.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #america, #arrogance, #elbonians, #end of time, #fight you, #fix problems, #what we do

View Transcript

Transcript

In Elbonia Wally: "I'm from America and I'm here to fix all of your problems." Elbonians: "Your arrogance is offensive. We will form an armed resistance and right you to the end of time!" Wally: "Um... Why?" Elbonians: "It's just something we do."