10 Dollars Bug Fix Comic Strips - Page 9
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408 Results for 10 Dollars Bug Fix
View 81 - 90 results for 10 Dollars Bug Fix comic strips. Discover the best "10 Dollars Bug Fix" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 19,
2000
Tags dozen bugs, bugs in software, fix for 20k, defective porduct, evil euphria, no choice, making fortune, single source tsrategy
Transcript
Dilbert tells a salesman: "We found a dozen bugs in the software you sold us." The salesman answers: "We can fix these bugs for $20,000. Dilbert is shocked: "What?" Dilber says: "You can't charge us to fix you own defective product!" The salesman laughs boisterously. He explains: "Sorry...I was overcome by an evil euphoria." Dilbert says: "I guess we have to pay. We have no choice!" Reaching for his cell-phone, the salesman says: "Excuse me." The salesman speaks into his cell-phone: "Put more bugs in the software! I'm making a fortune out here!" Dilbert thinks: "I'm starting to question our single source strategy."
Wednesday May 15,
2002
Tags powerpoint slides, ceos visit, needs to fix
Transcript
The Boss says to Alice, "Have you finished your 'powerpoint' slides for the CEO's visit?" Alice responds, "Yes. I'm focusing on all the things we do wrong. Because that's what he needs to fix." The Boss' jaw drops. Alice continues, "Just kidding, there's no useful information." The Boss replies, "Don't joke!"
Saturday July 27,
2002
Tags worthless, incompetent bug, two phone calls and a meeting
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "I need your help yelling at a guy to make him do his job." The Boss approaches the coworker from behind and yells, "You worthless, incompetent bug!!! I'll have your head!!!" The Boss asks the coworker, "How much work did that buy?" The coworker responds, "Two phone calls and a meeting."
Saturday January 25,
2003
Tags decompose, digits, million dollars, planned obsolescene, upgarde, upgrade now, version, newest software
Transcript
Dilbert is meeting with a salesman. The salesman says, "For only a million dollars, you can upgrade to our newest software version." The salesman continues, "Or you can slowly decompose in the miasma of our planned obsolescence." Dilbert says, "We can't afford to upgrade now." The salesman holds up a device and replies, "Say goodbye to the digits three and nine."
Thursday April 03,
2003
Tags reapir, defective co workers, paramoid, invited to meetings, fix her, trade in, liar, moron, whistler
Transcript
Dilbert carries Peri Noid over his shoulder towards a shop with a sign that reads, "Repair Defective Co-workers." Dilbert holds Peri up and says to The Garbageman, "She's paranoid about not being invited to meetings. Can you fix her?" The Garbageman replies, "Nope." Dilbert asks, "Can I trade her in?" The Garbageman responds, "Would you like a liar, a moron, or a whistler?"
Friday August 15,
2003
Tags approve plan, software commitee, soar like eagles, millions of dollars, sidetracked, eagles, software, engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: "We can either wait three months for the software committee to approve our plan..." Dilbert: "Or we can soar like eagles, and act without approval, saving millions of dollars!" Dilbert: "Please don't be sidetracked by the analogy." The Boss: "Since when do eagles use software?"
Monday March 15,
2004
Tags target market, one customer, 10 thousand units, shop carefully
Transcript
Dilbert: "Our target market is people who don't shop carefully." "Our product is designed to attack the user and force him to reorder." "We only have one customer but we've sold 10,000 units."
Tuesday March 16,
2004
Tags over paid, 4 dollars, honest, reports mistake, bowels of bureaucarzy, correct injustice
Transcript
ASOK: There is an error on my tiny paycheck. It is four dollars too much. The Boss: Gasp! Now you must travel to the bowels of the bureaucracy to correct the injustice, Asok: or I could just keep it as a reward for my honesty. The Boss: Bowles I say!!
Thursday April 22,
2004
Tags real estate agent, 10 million, first property, covered with frogs, banshee farm, access road, boiling cesspool
Transcript
The real estate agent The first property costs $10 million. Its covered with endangered frogs and its next to a banshee farm. The access road is a narrow path across a boiling cesspool of tormented souls.
Friday March 04,
2005
Tags america, arrogance, elbonians, end of time, fight you, fix problems, what we do
Transcript
In Elbonia Wally: "I'm from America and I'm here to fix all of your problems." Elbonians: "Your arrogance is offensive. We will form an armed resistance and right you to the end of time!" Wally: "Um... Why?" Elbonians: "It's just something we do."