20 Year Reduction Comic Strips - Page 9

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392 Results for 20 Year Reduction

View 81 - 90 results for 20 year reduction comic strips. Discover the best "20 Year Reduction" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #engineers, #wages, #hiring engineers, #google, #million per year, #change the world, #average engineer pay, #money

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Interviewee: Google offered me a million dollars a year. What's your offer? Boss: Work for us and you can change the world! Interviewee: Change it how? Boss: By lowering the average pay of engineers. Hiring engineers

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2013's comic on:


Tags #new year's day, #optimism, #network down, #bad new years day, #good year

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Dilbert: A fresh new year is upon us and I am brimming with optimism. Ugh. Our network at work is down because my pointy-haired boss wouldn't let me upgrade the software. Now I need to work all night to fix it. Maybe this means the next 364 days will be extra awesome. Dogbert: Yeah. That's how it works.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 08, 2008's comic on:


Tags #five year plan, #five minutes, #office, #room, #conference room

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The Boss: My new five-year plan looks like this. Plan Dilbert: How can you have a five-year plan when you don't know what will happen in five minutes? Ted: We have this room now. The Boss: Bad timing, Shoo! Shoo!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2008's comic on:


Tags #competition, #mocking, #salvage joy, #work, #five year plan

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Dilbert: Our competitors just made new five-year plan moot. While we were strategizing, they were doing something I believe they call 'work. On the plus side, I managed to salvage some joy by mocking you. The Boss: Whatever you're doing stop it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 2008's comic on:


Tags #cooked books, #pension fund, #15% per year, #crooks, #optimists, #whistling noise, #soul escaping

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Dogbert says, "I cooked the books by assuming your pension fund will earn 15% per year." Pension Fund 15% Dogbert says, "Technically you aren't crooks, just optimists." Tweet! Mmph! Tweet! Dogbert says, "If you hear a whistling noise, that would be your soul escaping through your nose."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 28, 2011's comic on:


Tags #afterlife, #death & dying, #international economic integration, #secure a long term supply, #rare earth, #metal, #rare earth metals, #dying, #reincarnating, #20% chance, #born chinese

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The Boss says, "Our consultant will tell us how we can secure a long-term supply of rare earth metals for our products." The Boss says, "China has the most of the rare earth metals. Try dying. And reincarnating. There's a 20% chance that you'll be born Chinese." The Boss says, "What's plan B?" Dogbert says, "If the only part that goes wrong is the Chinese part, you can try dying again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2007's comic on:


Tags #20% raise, #two flat screens, #monitors, #evil genius, #second monitor

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Dilbert: "My pay is below market. Can I have a 20% raise?" The Boss: "No, but I'll let you use two flat screen monitors in your cubicle so it feels like you're an evil genius in a secret lair." "Bu-Wa-HAHA!" Wally: "Who got a second monitor?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 28, 2007's comic on:


Tags #alice quits, #2 weeks notice, #20% raise, #calls father, #quitter, #moron, #raise instead of quit

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The Boss: "Alice, I got your two weeks' notice." "Will you stay if I give you a 20% raise?" Alice: "Okay." "Hey dad, do you remember you said I should never be a quitter? You do? Well, it turns out that you're a moron."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 2007's comic on:


Tags #hate holidays, #day before holoday, #stop working, #cheapens work, #year round, #mean spirited, #bitter worker, #hyprocrit

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Wally: I hate it when people stop working because it's the day before a holiday. "Ha! Ha! Ha!" Wally: "It cheapens the lack of work that I cultivate year-round." Asok: "I saw the funniest video clip!" Wally: "Tourist!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #worer, #40 million a year, #400 x worker pay, #salary, #disparity, #golden egg, #every ten minutes, #money

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The Boss: "Our CEO will be happy to answer any questions." Alice: "Why does the company pay you 40 million dollars a year?" "I ask because it's 400 times more than I make. And I work 70 hours a week." "Do you work 28,000 hours per week?" "Or do you have some sort of special ability that isn't obvious?" CEO: "GRRRRR RRRRR AAAAH-OOGAH!!!" "Golden egg. One every ten minutes." "Good answer."