Search Results for "27 times"
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Character
Friday June 30,
2006
Monday June 25,
2007
Tags #hired nancy, #lightening, #can't strike, #lighting strike, #invites problems, #medical school, #cadaver
Transcript
I hired Nancy because she's had so many personal problems in the past year. "I figure lightning can't strike the same place more than ten or twelve times in a row." "It's not as if she invites problems." "I'm in love with a medical school cadaver!"
Monday November 19,
2012
Tags #business ethics, #gotcha fees, #airlines, #make moneky, #terrible battery life, #high five
Transcript
Dogbert: You need to have more "gotcha" fees. That's how airlines make their money. For example, you could design your product to have a terrible battery life, then sell extra chargers for ten times your cost. CEO: And maybe the chargers could break after two months. Dogbert: High five!
Sunday January 13,
2013
Tags #air travel, #extra legroom, #aisle seat, #no baby section, #extra bag, #priority boarding, #in flight entertainment, #flight insurance, #wi-fi, #airplane etxras
Transcript
Carol: Do you want extra legroom on your flight? It costs more. Boss: Yes. Carol: Do you want an aisle seat? That costs extra. Boss: Yes. Carol: Do you want a no-baby section? It costs extra. Boss: Yes. Carol: Extra bag? Boss: Yes. Carol: Meal? Boss: Yes. Carol: Priority boarding? Boss: Yes. Carol: In-flight entertainment? Wi-fi? Flight insurance? We're almost done. Just twelve more questions. Your ticket comes to $27,689. And it's only three stops! Boss: No let's do the return flight. One hour later.
Friday February 01,
2013
Tags #laziness, #managers & supervisors, #devote energy, #projects, #setting priorities, #business
Transcript
Boss: And I need it by next week. Dilbert: I will devote 3.7% of my energy to it. I can give you more if you do your job of setting priorities for my 27 projects. Boss: Can't you set the priorities? Dilbert: Sure. This one just went to 1.7%.
Wednesday April 10,
2013
Tags #cruelty, #monsters, #taxes, #taxpayers head explode, #turned on, #head explodes, #taxpayers, #frustration
Transcript
Writing the Tax Code Monster: If we do this right, it will be so complicated that it will make taxpayers' heads explode. Dogbert: Hee! Hee! Man: Multiply line 32 times the opposite of the integral of line 19 unless my pants have pleats and gaaaa!!!! Dogbert: Do you ever feel bad about doing this? Monster: I'd be lying if I said it didn't turn me on just a little.
Wednesday March 05,
2008
Tags #woman, #confides, #sad story, #piano fell on head, #dilbert laughs, #killed brother
Transcript
Woman: I used to have a brother, but a piano fell on his head. Dilbert: Hee hee!" Dilbert: Sometimes I laugh at the wrong times.
Tuesday September 16,
2008
Tags #albanian inflation, #billion percent, #fetid water, #hyper inflation
Transcript
Elbonian inflation reaches a billion percent, daily An Elbonian says, "Is this enough for a small?" $ Fetid water! Another Elbonian says, "A minute ago, yes. Now it costs a hundred times more." The first Elbonian says, "Problem solved."
Monday October 13,
2008
Tags #dogcart the ceo, #salary, #400x more, #admit your selfish, #money
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "My salary is 400 times more than yours." Dogbert says, "My goal is to jack that up to 410, maybe 420." A woman says, "I hate you for this." Dogbert says, "So you admit you're selfish?"
Tuesday August 31,
2010
Tags #new job, #double workload, #hold papers, #complain, #exaggerate, #sit in chair
Transcript
Alice says, "Did I tell you I'm doing two jobs now?" Dilbert says, "About a million times." Dilbert says, "You've complained about it so much that it's like a song I can't get out of my head." Alice says, "I only found out yesterday." Dilbert says, "I'm trying to get ahead of it."