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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1999's comic on:

Tags #secret weapon, #lowered glass ceiling, #marry a rich guy

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The Boss approaches Tina and says, "...so Tina, you shouldn't have..." Tina thinks to herself, "I'm in trouble. Must use secret weapon." Tina begins to cry and scream, "WAAH!! WAAH!! Everybody hates me no matter what I do!!" Alice leans over her cubicle and says, "Thanks, that lowered the glass ceiling about a foot." Tina replies, "I plan to marry a rich guy."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 1999's comic on:

Tags #successful project, #job eliminated, #smartest thing, #fail miserably, #clear strategy

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A woman (Tina ?) stands in the boss's office. She says, "I just realized that if my project is a success, my job will be eliminated." She says, "The smartest thing to do is to fail miserably and blame it all on your indecisiveness." She says, "I'm happy because I have a clear strategy!" The boss thinks, "I haven't nodded in a while."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 1999's comic on:

Tags #chinese version, #chinese words, #difference, #products instructions, #random scribbles

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The boss hands Tina piece of paper and says, "Tina, I want you to write the chinese version of our products instructions." Tina says, "can you tell the difference between Chinese words and random scribbles?" The boss says, "No." Tina says, "I'll be done in five minutes."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 1999's comic on:

Tags #mordac, #preventer of information, #cios office, #delete meail, #server, #message, #insulting email, #regeret sending

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Tina faces Mordac who stands in front of a closed door. Mordac says, "Why do you seek Mordac - the preventer of information services?" Tina opens her purse and says, "I regret sending an insulting e-mail message to our CIO. I need to delete it from the server." Tina shoots at the door several times. Tina says, "The server was in that closet, right?" Mordac says, "That's the CIO's office."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1999's comic on:

Tags #hammerhead bob, #lunch, #clean room, #speak louder, #tables

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Caption: "Hammerhead Bob" A man with a hammer for head says, to Alice and Tina , "Are you going to lunch? I'll join you!" Hammerhead Bob, Alice and Tina sit at a table. Alice and Tina are in pain. Boob says, "...And that's why it's called a "clean room." But how clean is it really?" Bob says, "I'll speal louder in case the other table want in on this."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 25, 1999's comic on:

Tags #merging, #porcess, #engineers, #merger, #tech writers

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The Boss, Tina and Wally sit in conference. The Boss says, "We'll be destroying another healthy company via a process we call merging." The Boss says, "No engineers will be down-sized after merger." The Boss says to Tina, "And tech writers..." Tina says, "Yes?!" The Boss says, "Should write that down."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1999's comic on:

Tags #job secuirty, #be an engineer, #takes all day, #get in on scam

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Tina says to Alice, at Alice's cubicle, "Alice, I need a career that has job security." Tina says, "Teach me to be an engineer. I don't care if it takes all day." Tina says, "But don't tell anyone; they'll all try to get in on this scam." Alice makes a funny face.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 28, 1999's comic on:

Tags #training, #engineer, #any training, #engineers boss, #unskilled labor, #without labor, #engineering

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Alice and Tina sit at a table as Tina takes notes. Alice says, "It takes years of training to be an engineer." Alice says, "But you don't need any training whatsoever to be an engineer's boss." Alice says, "It's unskilled labor without the labor." Tina says, "I could do that."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 29, 1999's comic on:

Tags #dogberts, #accelerated course, #check book, #final exam, #todays date

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Tina talks on the phone at her cubicle, and says, "I'd like to enroll in Dogbert's accelerated management course." Dogbert says, "Take out yout checkbook and begin your final exam now." Tina says, "Question one: What is today's date?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 19, 2000's comic on:

Tags #dogcart investment fund, #higher fees, #best fund, #diversified, #suckers, #all types

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Tina and Dogbert are sitting in a meeting. Tina is looking at a sheet of paper and she says to Dogbert: "Wow! The Dogbert investment fund has higher fees that any other!" Dogbert answers: "It's true!" Dogbert says to Tina: "That's how you can tell it's the best fund." Tina says: "I'm in." Tina is signing a check and asks: "Are you diversified?" Dogbert answers: "Yes, I have suckers of all types."