Add Resource Comic Strips - Page 9
138 Results for Add Resource
View 81 - 90 results for add resource comic strips. Discover the best "Add Resource" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 30, 2003's comic on:
The Boss: "I e-mailed you the expense breakdown. I need you to fix the format and send it out." Carol: "I will now read your mind to get the unspoken, ever-shifting preferences for the format." "I see nothing emptiness... the abyss..." The boss: "Add a chart."
Share August 29, 1999's comic on:
Alice has just presented a document to the Boss. As the Boss reads it, he tells her, "Remove that last bullet point. It's stupid." Alice gasps. Alice crosses her arms and says, "Yesterday, you told me to add that bullet point." She continues, "So either you were wrong today or you were wrong yesterday." The Boss ponders this. Alice pokes her head out of the Boss' office to tell the other workers, "Everyone come quickly! He has to admit he's wrong!" Dilbert and Asok sprint down the hall. Wally's head pops up from behind his cubicle wall, elated. Once the other employees are gathered around her, Alice cues the Boss, "Say it." The Boss responds, "Alice heard me wrong yesterday." Alice is furious as everyone continues to stand around her. Wally says, "It takes a big man to admit Alice is wrong." Asok, cupping his hands to his mouth, yells, "Can you hear us Alice?"
Share January 11, 2005's comic on:
Dogbert: My stock-picking software needs more features. "I think I'll add a module that claims to make hair grow on bald guys. I'll first test it on a rat." Ratbert: "I feel a new one on my buttocks!" Dogbert: "That's all the proof I need."
Share August 16, 2005's comic on:
Topper Versus the Feature Creep "We need to add a keyword search function." "That's nothing!" "It should also search in different languages including Friulian, Kataang, Horpa and Wagi." "I like your style." "That's nothing! I want to marry you in a civil union."
Share June 02, 2006's comic on:
We need to add a $3 component to our product to comply with federal law. "The product review committee will need a cost-benefit study before we decide." "And you know it's accurate because I used math!" Duh 100
Share June 08, 2006's comic on:
"If you don't give us a urine sample to test, I have to fire you." "How about a hair sample to test instead?" "How do I know it's your hair?" "You can take the sample yourself." "Add this to the list of things you shouldn't trust human resources to do."
Share December 01, 2006's comic on:
"...And I work there as an engineer." "Go away. I lost $3,000 when your company restated its earnings." "Tonight I was rejected for corporate malfeasance." "I'll add it to the list."
Share December 15, 2006's comic on:
The director of marketing needs an engineering resource. "I'm giving you to him because I hate his stupid guts." "What did I do to deserve this?" "Sorry I'm late. I had to drown a burrito."
Share July 09, 2000's comic on:
Asok points to his diagram as he explains to the group, "My software will create human simulations from DNA samples." The Boss asks Asok, "What's the market application?" Asok answers, "Well...there are many various applications." The Boss says to Asok, "Name one." Asok begins to explain, "Well...someday the entire human genome will be mapped and decoded." Asok continues, "You could take a hair sample from a woman who refuses to date you..." Asok continues to explain, "and create a software simulation of her to keep in your computer watch." Asok says, "You could have one button to feed her and one button to punish her." Wally replies, "I'd buy it." The Boss asks Asok, "Can you add a button?"