Adopting Best Practices Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

298 Results for Adopting Best Practices

View 81 - 90 results for adopting best practices comic strips. Discover the best "Adopting Best Practices" comics from Dilbert.com.

Magazine Article

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Magazine Article - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #publication, #salesman, #advertisement, #best, #company, #decision

View Transcript

Transcript

magazine salesman: our publication is considering naming your company one of the best places to work. on a totally unrelated topic, our sales team will be contacting you about buying lots and lots of advertisements. boss: and if we don't? magazine salesman: who would want to work at a company that makes such bad decisions?

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Lack Of Social Contact

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lack Of Social Contact - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #pandemic, #technology, #social, #contact, #best, #week, #covid, #cope

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert at coffee pot wearing face masks. dilbert: how did you cope with the loss of social contact during the pandemic? wally: best weeks of my life. how about you? dilbert: i didn't want to be the first to say it.

Safety Record

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Safety Record - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #safety, #record, #industry, #best, #face mask, #untrue, #lie, #idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: our safety record is the best in the industry! dilbert: that is both untrue and easy to debunk. why would you even tell such a lie? do you think we're idiots? boss: moving along...

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boats, #business ethics, #new boat, #engineers, #skills, #boss's boat, #picture, #nautical interests

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Who wants to see a picture of my new boat? Dilbert: That's a very good question. If we consider the fact that we work much harder than he does... Carol: And we have valuable engineering skills, whereas he can't operate the GPS in his SUV... and for some reason we don't get paid enough to buy impressive boats. Dilbert: And we have no nautical interests whatsoever. I think your best bet is people who don't know you. Man: And you are? Boss: This only works if we don't get too familiar.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #contracts, #relations between the sexes, #Women, #ignorantly signed, #legal strategy, #affadavit, #attractive women, #have cooties

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "The contract that you ignorantly signed gives them the right to harvest your organs." Man says, "Your best legal strategy is to get sworn affidavits from attractive women saying you have cooties." Woman says, "Heck yes, I'll sign it." Dilbert says, "I was hoping this would be harder."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #air travel, #cash payment, #college freind, #cost & standard of living, #expensive, #friendship, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "My best friend from college keeps bugging me to visit her. The flight will cost a small fortune." Dilbert says, "Try offering her a cash payment of half the estimated cost of the trip if she agrees to stop inviting you." Tina says, "You don't have any friends, do you?" Dilbert says, "I hear they're expensive."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #shoulder holder, #jealousy is attractive, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I invented a shoulder holder for my phone. I felt bad keeping my best friend in my pocket. Jealousy in not attractive.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #crimes, #internet & world wide web, #black hat, #websites ranking, #search engine, #unethical, #near certainty, #loserish, #talking

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want you to use "black hat" methods to raise our website's ranking on search engines. Dilbert: What do you like best about that idea - the fact that it's unethical or the near certainty of getting caught? Boss: That's sort of a loserish thing to say. Dilbert: Talking doesn't work for people like me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #magic, #supernatural practices, #sacred dance, #cucbicle, #useful by comparison

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It is time for the sacred dance of the cubicle. Hi-aw-ah-hee hu-ha-ya-ya wa-ha-ya-yi. That should make everything I do today seem useful by comparison.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #standards meeting., #represent interests, #create standards, #mutually exclusive prefrences, #laughs

View Transcript

Transcript

Standards Meeting. Dogbert: Each of you has been chosen to represent the interests of your respective companies. As you know, the best way to create standards is to mash together a bunch of mutually exclusive preferences. I hope I'm not the only one who joined this group just for the laughs.