Alert Patent Offcie Comic Strips - Page 9

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94 Results for Alert Patent Offcie

View 81 - 90 results for alert patent offcie comic strips. Discover the best "Alert Patent Offcie" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2007's comic on:


Tags #coffe pot, #coffee stand, #offcie, #yell, #order coffee, #quality of life, #taste better

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Carol: "Don't you dare take another cup of coffee." "The more you drink, the more often I have to order coffee. You are destroying my quality of life!" "Gaaa!!!" Wally: "If this doesn't make the coffee taste better, I don't know what will."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2007's comic on:


Tags #dead horse, #interview, #offcie, #meeting, #chair, #not answering, #few hours, #secretary, #cancel other meetinsg, #take time, #business

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The Boss: "You have good experience as a dead horse, but can you take a beating?" "So, you think you can ignore my questions, do you?" "Cancel all of my meetings, this could take a few more hours."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2005's comic on:


Tags #cubicle, #offcie, #meeting, #privacy, #geographically dependant, #benchmark test, #business

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The boss: "Dilbert, come to my office for a minute." Dilbert: "What's in your office?" The boss: "You and I will be there." Dilbert: "If you just want to talk, we can do it right here and save us both some time." The boss: "Maybe we need privacy, did you ever think of that?" Dilbert: "Do we need it?" The Boss: "No, that was just an example. There are many, many reasons why we should talk in my office." Dilbert: "I'll be fascinated to find out what kind of information is geographically dependent." The Boss: "Now, do you have the results from the Benchmark Tests?" Dilbert: "Yup. In my cubicle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #lost id badge, #security offcie, #sneak, #angel with bacon, #looks around

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Dilbert: I lost my ID besiege. Security: Report to the security office and get a new one. Hold it where do you think you're going? Dilbert: To the security office? Security: No one is allowed past this desk with out an ID badge. Dilbert: Okay....how do I go to the security office if I can't go to the security office? Security: Good question. I guess you'll have to steal past me. Dilbert: Look over there! Its an angel and she's giving away free bacon! Security: well well It seems Ive found a worthy adversary.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 2004's comic on:


Tags #senior vice president, #impress, #chummy with intern, #slacking slacker, #good motivation

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The Boss: The new senior vice president will be at my meeting, I hope to impress him with my leadership skills. Uh- oh underling alert. I can't be seen getting chummy with an intern, Pleas don't try to make conversation don't don't don't don't Asok: did you do anything fun this weekend? The boss: Here he comes! The boss: get back to work you slacking slacker!!! Good motivating! if he blows ho sons with every necktie. You're my new vice president.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #clammy offcie, #all clammy, #hands are clammy, #underpants

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The Boss is in his office. He thinks, with a panicked expression on his face, "It's not just my desk; it's the chair, too!" The Boss stops Dilbert in the hallway and says, "Dilbert, come here!" The Boss leads Dilbert into his office and says, "Everything in my office feels clammy." The Boss continues, "I first noticed when I touched my phone.. then my mouse." The Boss says, "All clammy." He pauses and then asks, "What could it mean?" Dilbert responds, "It could mean your hands are clammy." Dilbert walks away whistling. The Boss calls after him, "You must never speak of this." At a meeting, Wally turns to The Boss and asks, "Have you ever noticed that everything you sit on feels like underpants?" Dilbert looks away guiltily.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2014's comic on:


Tags #public speaking, #slides tell a story, #status of project, #clown, #broken watch, #eagle, #technology, #old shoe, #storm drain, #pie chart, #dcitionary, #images, #offcie, #cubicle

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Boss: Experts say your slides should tell a story in pictures. Start with an image that captures the status of your project. Dilbert: How about this image of a clown with a broken watch? Boss: I was thinking eagle. Dilbert: Fine. Eagle. Boss: Now find an image that shows our technology strategy. Dilbert: How about this image of an old show in a storm drain? Boss: I was thinking pie chart. Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Now for the words. Dilbert: How about this image of a dictionary?

Wally's Air Bag

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Wally's Air Bag - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2014's comic on:


Tags #air bags, #laziness, #work ethic, #underpants, #accidental asignments, #system, #offcie, #work, #employees, #business

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Wally: I added air bags to my underpants to avoid accidental assignments. Boss: Hey, Wally, I need you to... BAM! Maybe I'll ask someone else. Wally: The system works!

Wally's Analysis Is No Longer Needed

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Wally's Analysis Is No Longer Needed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #analysis, #work, #gibberish, #separate issue, #secretary, #offcie, #cubicle, #science

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Wally: Here's the analysis you asked me to do. Coworker: Oops. I forgot to tell you, I don't need this anymore. Wally: What? I did all of that work for nothing? Coworker: Wait... this is nothing but... gibberish. Wally: That is a separate issue.

Wally's Many Patents

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Wally's Many Patents - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #accomplishments, #deception, #work ethic, #patent, #inventions

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Boss: On your list of accomplishments, you say you filed seventeen patents for the company this month. Wally: I did. Here's the documentation on each of them. Boss: Hmm... it will be three years before I know if these are accepted. Wally: Until then, let's play it safe and assume I'm awesome.