Alice Sits Boss Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for alice sits boss comic strips. Discover the best "Alice Sits Boss" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feel sick, #crying or punching, #bad case, #mahjobis crappus

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Alice sits in a doctor's office. Alice says, "I feel sick every morning." Alice says, "All day long, I feel like either crying or punching people." The doctor says, "You've got a bad case of mahjobis crappus."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #not care, #subordinates, #all changed, #not caring funtion

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The Boss says to Asok the Intern, "I used to not care about my subordinates." The Boss says to Asok, "But that's all changed." The Boss says to Asok as Alice, The Boss' secretary, looks on, "Now I delegate the not-caring function to what's-her-face over here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vendor, #drinks, #answer questions, #works, #already wroking, #date, #private, #business, #confused, #misunderstanding

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Alice sits next to Dilbert and Wally at a conference table. She says, "I'm meeting a vendor for drinks tonight. He says it's the only time he has to answer my questions." Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "If that works, please let us know." Alice replies, "What do you mean 'works'? And who is 'us'?" Wally exclaims, "It's already working!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #stuck, #ductwork, #device, #pressure, #push, #shoot, #foom, #fly into the air, #rocket, #airplane, #hang onto wing, #koi pond

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Dilbert says, "Our device will create enough pressure to gently push our boss's carcass out of the ductwork." FOOM! Captain says, "This is Captain Sullenberger. Don't worry about the wing; I see a koi pond down there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #front, #media, #bad, #slave labor, #elbonia, #make products, #cave, #chain, #water, #Entertainment, #business

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The Boss says, "We're getting some heat from the media for using Elbonian slave labor ot build our products." The Boss says, "I've been trying to tell the media that it's not as bad as it sounds." ELBONIA Elboanian says, "Now I'll be the slave and you be the oppressor!" Elbonian 2 says, "No!!! Not yet!"

Welcome Baskets

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Welcome Baskets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #racism, #new employee

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alice, the boss and ask at table. the boss: i need a volunteer to assemble welcome baskets for our new hires. alice: i recommend ask the intern because obviously, it would be sexist to ask a women to do it. the boss: good point. ask, the project is yours. ted thinking: racist.

Credible Data

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Credible Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #credible, #data, #problem, #test, #good

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alice: i finished the data throughput tests, but the results are not credible because of a problem with the test. boss: does the non-credible data make us look good? alice: yes. boss: our name for that kind of data is "credible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pregnancy & child birth, #the boss, #alice, #xerox, #birth, #job, #special, #treatment

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The Boss sits at his desk and says, "Alice, I noticed you gave birth by the Xerox machine this morning . . ." The Boss continues, "We don't have a maternity leave policy here, but if you need some time, I'm sure we can find somebody less fertile to fill your job." Alice replies, "Thank you, sir, but I don't expect any special treatment." Alice is breast feeding a baby under her shirt.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #Dogbert, #the boss, #company president, #stock, #business trip

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Dogbert sits at his desk reading the newspaper. Dogbert says, "What?? The presidents of other companies make way more money than I do!!" Dogbert continues, "I'd better make some short-sighted cuts. That should raise our stock price and make my stock options worth millions." The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and Alice, ". . . All business trips are one-way from now on . . . And you're all required to take a trip this afternoon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #boss, #give presentation, #technology, #trade show, #wiggle room, #for or against

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The Boss stands behind Alice in her cubicle. She sits at a PC. The Boss says, "I've been asked to give a presentation at the trade show." The Boss says, "I'd like you to put that together for me, Alice." Alice asks, "What's your topic?" The Boss replies, "Technology. They didn't say if I'm for it or against it." Alice says, "I'll leave some wiggle room."