Back Hair Comic Strips - Page 9
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Dilbert walks along the sidewalk with a date. She says, "Well, we're almost back to my place." She says, "Thanks for the date. I can make it from here." Dilbert reaches out and thinks, "I'd better attach the tracking device." She thinks, "I'll run down that alley and hide until he leaves."
Caption: "Dogbert's tech support" Dogbert talks on the phone at a computer. Dogbert says, "If you upgrade your software, all of your data will be lost." Dogbert says, "But if you don't upgrade, the old software will corrupt your data one bit at a time." Dogbert says, "And if you try to back up your data, our software will hunt you down and bit-slap you until you delete it yourself."
Caption: "Dogbert gets a loan" Dogbert sits across the desk from a bank executive. Dogbert wags his tail and says, "I plan to buy all the copies of hte book I authored, thus making it a bestseller." Dogbert says, "And I'd like to use your house as collateral. Unless it's a dump." The banker says, "How are you planning to pay us back?" dogbert says, "Do you take books?"
CAption: "CAtbert: Evil H.R. Director" CAtbert says, "Wally, you've taken sick days for unusual reasons." Catbert looks at a piece of paper and says, "For example, one day you got sick because you "...accidently imagined what ir would be like if you were a fly." Catbert says, "And today it's your hair?" Wally says, "I lathered and rinsed but I don't remember repeating."
The boss is in the cafeteria, carrying his tray of food and approaching Dilbert, who is sitting alone eating. The boss asks, "Do you mind if I pretend to like you? I hear it increases productivity." The boss is sitting next to him now, staring with a smile. Dilbert says, "I need to go back to my cubicle now." The boss, still staring and smiling thinks, "It's working!"
The boss says to Ed: "Ed, the experts say managers should over-communicate during times of uncertainty." The boss screams at Ed: "You're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired, you're fired!." Ed looks surprised. The boss says to Ed: "I'll come back in ten minutes to do that again." Ed looks angry.
Outside the Boss's office, Carol, the Boss's secretary, tells Dilbert: "He's on the phone. You'll have to stand here and wait." She continues with her instructions to Dilbert: "Don't leave. Don't make noise. Don't try talking to me." Standing alone and waiting, Dilbert examines his arm and thinks to himself: "Arm hair LX-943 is growing nicely."
Dilbert is with his Mom. She is drinking tea. She asks Dilbert: "Did you do any action items this week?" Dilbert answers: "I gathered costs for a strategy we had already decided not to use." Dilbert's Mom says: "That helps the Ol' GNP." Dilbert tells her: "I'm not giving back your tuition money."
Dilbert, Alice and Wally are sitting together eating lunch. Dilbert asks them, "Did I ever tell you about the time I went skydiving?" Alice replies, "That sounds like a false memory planted by Dogbert." Dilbert throws one hand in the air in denial as he says "Blah!" Dilbert says, "My parachute didn't open. Luckily, I landed on a trampoline and bounced back into the plane."
Caption reads: "CEO as Spokesperson." The CEO asks, "Shouldn't I hold up our project instead of leaning on a chair?" Dogbert stands across from her with a camera and a beret on. Dogbert screams through a bullhorn, "NO!!" His screams blows the CEO's hair back. The CEO stands angrily with her hair tossled as Dogbert says, "That helped your hair but you're still dressed like a nun."