Can't Be Late Comic Strips - Page 9

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231 Results for Can't Be Late

View 81 - 90 results for can't be late comic strips. Discover the best "Can't Be Late" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bungee boss, #incoming, #made a difference, #mentor, #sprong!, #bouncing bungee

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The Boss: We'll be getting a new "Bungee Boss" sometime today. Hi - Im -your- new- boss- lets- change- every- thing- beef- I- get- reassigned- pops- too- late- goodbye. sproing wally: He was like a mentor to me. Dilbert: I think he made a difference. The Boss: Incoming!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #pulling rank, #vice president, #teaching himself banjo, #wait in hallway, #offcie, #feet on desk, #making wait

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CEO: Im running late. But since Im a Vice president. you'll have to wait in the hallway. You'll be able to judge your relative worth by observing what thing I do while you wait. Dilbert: He's teaching himself banjo.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #old rating system, #friendlier method, #animal, #similar traits, #tyrannosaurus rex, #mightiest dinosaur, #brain size

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The Boss sits at his desk and Alice sits across from him. The Boss says, "I've replaced the old rating system with a friendlier method. Now I compare each of you to an animal with similar traits." The Boss pushes a document toward Alice and says, "I rated you 'Tyrannosaurus Rex.'" Alice looks excited and says, "T. Rex - the mightiest dinosaur!!" The Boss says, "Think in terms of brain size."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 1989's comic on:


Tags #clean, #date, #work

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Dogbert sits on a pillow by the fireplace. Dilbert says, "I'll be back late. I have a date with Sharon to grout her bathtub." Dogbert asks, "You call that a date?" Dogbert says, "Last week you cleaned her rain gutters and painted her house . . . The week before, you installed her sprinkler system and rebuilt her car's engine." Dogbert asks, "Don't you think she might be using you?" Dilbert replies, "Well . . . At least I get lunch out of the deal." Dogbert asks, "She actually prepares food for you?" Dilbert carries a bag and a tool box. He replies, "No, bag lunch. I get to eat it during break."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #neighbor, #loud, #obnoxious, #again, #electrionic, #systems, #computer, #telephone, #stereo, #garage, #door, #theromostat, #science, #glass, #neighborhood, #immediately

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Dilbert sits at his desk with Dogbert. Dogbert says, "Our neighbor is being loud and obnoxious again." Loud music plays next door and someone shouts, "Party!!" Dilbert replies, "Not for long. I'm going to override his home electronic systems with my computer." Dilbert continues, "I can control his television, microwave, telephone, stereo, garage door and thermostat." Dilbert appears in the neighbor's tv and says, "Attention! Attention! Obnoxious neighbor!!" Dilbert says into a microphone, "I am Dilbert. I have control over your life-support systems." Dilbert continues, "I will cut off your heat, entertainment and cooking appliances . . ." Dilbert continues, "Unless you pack up and leave the neighborhood immediately." Dogbert shouts, "He's trying to enroll in a computer science class!" Dilbert says, "The fool! It's much too late for that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2012's comic on:


Tags #bankruptcy, #big data, #bytes of data, #cloud, #consulatants, #evil, #evil company, #greed, #money bag, #pray to money, #servers

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Boss: Consultants say three quintillion bytes of data are created every day. It comes from everywhere. It knows all. According to the book of Wikipedia, it's name is "Big Data." Big Data lives in the cloud. It knows what we do. In the past, our company did many evil things. But if we accept Big Data in our servers, we will be saved from bankruptcy. Let us pay. Alice: Is it too late to side with evil? Dilbert: Shhh! It hears you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 1997's comic on:


Tags #pig with wig, #paid for bride, #send back, #mail order bride

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Wally tells Dilbert, ". . . So my Elbonian mail-order bride turns out to be a pig with a wig." Dilbert says, "What a rip-off." Dilbert says, "You're taking this well. I'd be mad if I paid for a bride and then I had to pay to send her back." They sit down at the table to eat lunch. Dilbert says, "You did send her back . . ." Wally offers Dilbert a sandwich and says, "B.L.T.?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1997's comic on:


Tags #shrink wrap license, #new software, #bill gates, #new mansion, #towel boy

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Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I didn't read all of the shrink-wrap license agreement on my new software until after I opened it." Beads of sweat fly off Dilbert's forehead and he pulls nervously at his tie. Dilbert continues, "Apparently I agreed to spend the rest of my life as a towel boy in Bill Gates' new mansion." Dogbert replies, "Call your lawyer." Dilbert says, "Too late. He opened the software yesterday. Now he's Bill Gates' laundry boy." Dogbert says, "It must be dangerous for lawyers to iron pants. They'd always have one hand in a pocket."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1997's comic on:


Tags #two hour meeting, #friday night, #tina, #no personal life, #useless meetings, #void, #insane, #have a meeting

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Tina tells Dilbert and Wally, "I scheduled a two-hour T.H.N.P.L. meeting for seven o'clock on Friday night." Tina explains, "T.H.N.P.L stands for 'Tina has no personal life.' I'm scheduling useless meetings to fill the void in my life." Dilbert says, "Tina, this is insane." Tina asks, "Are you suggesting we have a meeting to discuss it? Is Saturday okay?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #hands of death, #protest, #movie, #boycott, #redhead, #hot tempered, #ignorant, #stereotype, #boycot, #pound, #pulp, #sean, #dennis

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Two men form a picket line in front of a movie theater showing a movie titled, "Hands of Death." Dogbert walks around the corner. Dogbert asks one of the men holding a sign, "Why are you protesting against this movie?" The man replies, "It portrays red heads as hot tempered and ignorant." Dogbert asks, "How many red heads are in the movie?" The man replies, "One. But the point is, red heads don't fit their stereotype of being hot tempered and ignorant." Dogbert says, "Actually, ignorance was never a stereotype of red heads until you brought it up here." The man yells at the other protester, "Sean, you idiot! I told you!" Sean replies, "Shut up, Dennis! I'll pound you to a pulp!!" As they fight each other, Dogbert adds, "And 'boycott' is spelled with a double 'T.'"