Clean Desk Award Comic Strips - Page 9
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1000 Results for Clean Desk Award
View 81 - 90 results for clean desk award comic strips. Discover the best "Clean Desk Award" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday November 08,
2012
Tags #inventions, #waterworks, #invented filter, #raw sewage, #pure drinking water, #clean water, #upper container, #drank contaminated water
Transcript
Dilbert: I invented a filter that can turn raw sewage into pure drinking water in seconds. CEO: Glug glug glug. Dilbert: The clean water ends up here in the upper container.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday February 26,
2013
Tags #mathematics, #patents, #patent infreingement, #jury duty, #award
Transcript
Lawyer: A small company is suing us for patent infringement. We'll be fine unless the court somehow finds twelve citizens who aren't smart enough to get out of jury duty yet are inexplicably able to do math. Juror: We recommend an award of whatever the square root of 22 over zero is.
Tuesday March 25,
2008
Tags #hired archaeologist, #desk clutter, #copier reapirman, #used tools, #not fast, #found in clutter, #skull of men
Transcript
Carol, I hired famed archaeologist Dogbert to find the budget report in the clutter of your desk. Dogbert: This appears to be a copier repairman skull, possibly a ricoh or kyocera. I think he used tools. Carol: Not fast enough."
Thursday November 06,
2008
Tags #evil director, #human reasources, #resume, #sense of desparation, #janitor, #clean toiltes, #bury janitor
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "I've seen your resume and I sense desperation." Catbert says, "Our janitor recently passed away, so I have a job for you." A man says, "You want me to clean toilets?" Catbert says, "No, I want you to bury the janitor."
Wednesday March 10,
2010
Tags #angry, #annoyed, #complain, #feng shui, #lobby, #mirror, #workplace energy, #desk, #angle, #give the finger, #flip the bird, #chi
Transcript
Wally says, "Who's the idiot that put a mirror in the lobby? That's bad Feng Shui." Wally says, "I keep trying to work, but all of our workplace energy is getting reflected right back out to the sidewalk." Wally says, "And the way your desk is angled is totally flipping me the chi bird!"
Thursday May 27,
2010
Tags #fired, #pink slip, #cleaned out desk, #hold box, #letter of reference, #loser sign, #angry, #grit teeth, #tease
Transcript
Man says, "I cleaned out my desk. Would you be willing to give me a letter of reference?" The Boss says, "How about the letter 'L'? That seems about right?" Man thinks, "Must? not? burn... bridges." The Boss says, "Too soon?"
Tuesday July 27,
2010
Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #podium, #speech, #fish food
Transcript
CEO says, "The media is on our back because we accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty. We need your P.R. advice." Dogbert says, "Did you take full responsibility and promise to clean up the harbor?" CEO says, "Ooh." Earlier that day CEO says, "Many of you don't know that the Statue of Liberty was very old... and made entirely of fish food."
Monday November 01,
2010
Tags #human resources, #complaint, #cat, #lunch, #clean room, #loofah, #french bread, #itch back, #animals, #business
Transcript
Catbert says, "I'm getting a lot of complaints about you eating your lunch in the clean room." Catbert says, "And people don't like it when you use a loofah in there." The Boss says, "That's my french bread. And I can't help it if my back itches."
Thursday October 22,
2009
Tags #wanting, #award, #scheme, #planning, #lazy
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I want to win a humanitarian award." Dogbert says, "But I don't want to touch anyone who is sick. Or poor. Or unattractive." The Boss says, "Do you want to donate your time or money?" Dogbert says, "I'm hoping to donate your time and the stockholders' money."
Sunday May 29,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #quarreling, #major fix, #html, #website, #award, #improves morale, #glaoting, #winner, #technology
Transcript
Boss: This award goes to Dilbert for coming up with a major fix to our HTML. Dilbert: I didn't do anything like that. You must be thinking of someone else. Do you even know what HTML is? Boss: It's like... a website? Dilbert: So... you're giving an award for something you don't understand... to someone who wasn't involved? Boss: What I meant to say is that I give this award to... Alice... for... what she did. Alice: Yes! Envy me, you stinkin' losers! Boss: I don't know why people say this improves morale. Asok: I fixed the HTML!