Code Changes Comic Strips - Page 9

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217 Results for Code Changes

View 81 - 90 results for code changes comic strips. Discover the best "Code Changes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #monsters, #taxes, #sadistic monster, #income tax code, #complicated, #regressive tax codes, #like minds

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Monster: The best part of being a sadistic monster is that my job is to write the income tax code. Look how complicated I made it. Hee hee! Dogbert: You do good work, Stanky. Monster: But is it regressive enough? Dogbert: It's like we share a brain because you keep saying what I'm thinking.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2013's comic on:


Tags #gods, #monsters, #taxes, #tax code, #confused, #upstairs neighbor

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Monster: Ha ha! We've made the tax code so complex that even God would be confused. God: Seriously, dudes? Dogbert: Please tell me you have an upstairs neighbor. Monster: i believe I do, but I haven't actually seen him.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #code monkey, #dreams, #evil director, #less work, #software simian, #architect, #engineering

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Wally: I'd like to change my job title to something with 'architect' in it. My dream is to do less work while allegedly being more valuable. Catbert: The best I can do is 'code monkey. Wally: How about 'software simian'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 10, 2008's comic on:


Tags #bluff, #boss, #changes, #Dilbert, #lies, #remeber, #forget

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The Boss: Did you make the changes I asked for? Dilbert: That depends." "Do you remember what you asked me to change? The Boss: No. Dilbert: Yup, I made the changes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #dress code, #office, #office workers, #company shirts, #casual freidays, #lower self esteem, #stop complaining, #industry average, #feel overpaid

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Catbert: I modified the dress code to require wearing company shirts on casual Fridays. That should lower our employees' self-esteem until they stop complaining about earning less than the industry average. Dilbert: Why do I feel overpaid today?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 2008's comic on:


Tags #office workers, #valuable, #value, #legacy system, #less valuable, #never appear less valuable, #dress code troll

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Dilbert: I worry that being assigned to work on the legacy systems will make me appear less valuable in the future. Catbert: You have my word that you could never appear less valuable than you are now. Gilbert: Why do your assurances make me feel worse? Catbert: Your new dress code is "troll."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2008's comic on:


Tags #eat, #scare, #Word, #troll, #dress code, #cubicle, #scaring vendors, #word gets around

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Dilbert: I got reassigned to manage our legacy systems. The dress code is "troll." My cubicle is under the walkway. My side job is scaring vendors. Dogbert: Is that hard? Dilbert: Only the first day. After you eat one vendor, work gets around.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2010's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #late, #engineer code, #lightsaber, #kill, #annoy, #flashlight, #yell, #close eyes, #mouth open, #office

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Dilbert says, "I cannot meet your arbitrary deadline, so the engineer's code requires me to kill myself with a lightsaber." Dilbert says, "But lightsabers haven't been invented yet. The best I can do is annoy myself with a flashlight." The Boss says, "Could you do this in the hall?" Dilbert says, "Annoyance before dishonor!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2008's comic on:


Tags #online budget approval, #process making changes, #classes, #approval process, #budget varience, #broken system, #charges, #cubicle, #billable project, #exaggerating accomplishments

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Dilbert: Out online budget approval system isn't working. There's a process for making changes to the system, but I don't know it. I could take a class to learn the process, but there's also a process for approving classes. I could learn the process for approving classes, but I'd still need approval for a budget variance to take the class. And I can't get that because the online budget approval system is broken. I can't even have this conversation because it will make me charge too much of my engineering time to administrative overhead. So I'll go sit in my cubicle and pretend to be thinking about a billable project. It looks like I'll be exaggerating my accomplishments again this year.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2008's comic on:


Tags #technology changes, #chasing knowledge, #observe, #network problem, #servers, #satisfied customer

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Asok says, "Wally, how do you keep up with all of the changes in technology?" Wally says, "Chasing knowledge is a fool's game, Asok." Wally says, "I use experience to answer questions without the burden of knowledge. Observe." A man says, "Wally, if we upgrade our servers, would that solve our network problem?" Wally says, "If the problem is the servers, yes." The man says, "I'll ask someone else." Wally says, "There goes another satisfied customer."