Color Copies Cost Comic Strips - Page 9

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198 Results for Color Copies Cost

View 81 - 90 results for color copies cost comic strips. Discover the best "Color Copies Cost" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2001's comic on:

Tags #most valuable asset, #rampant ignorance, #really cost, #better jobs, #across the street, #don't know bugs, #wearing trash cans, #accidental exposure, #consultant, #business

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Dogbert is sitting at a conference table across from Dilbert and Alice and flanked by the boss and Wally. Dogbert says, "What is your most valuable asset?" Wally says, "Employees?" The boss stifles a laugh "Hee" Dogbert says, "Your most valuable asset is rampant ignorance." Dogbert continues, "For example, you would never start a project if you knw how much it would really cost." Turning to Wally, Dogbert says, "Employees stay here because they don't know there are better jobs across the street." Wally says, "What?" Turning to the boss, Dogbert says, "Customers buy your products because they don't know about all the bugs." The boss says, "Good point." Holding a trashcan, Dogbert says, "I recommend wearing trash cans on your heads to avoid any accidental exposure to knowledge." An employee, wearing a trashcan over his head, says, "Did he tell you he was a consultant?" Another trashcanned employee says, "He said he was selling trash cans."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2001's comic on:

Tags #downsize you, #ted, #bad job, #essentail function, #cost reductions, #marketing, #spent too much, #trade show booth, #dept phone list., #business

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The Boss says to Ted, "Ted, I have to downsize you." Ted turns around and asks, "Was I doing a bad job?" The Boss replies, "No, it's more complicated than that." Ted asks, "Is my essential function being eliminated?" The Boss answers, "No, the problem is that someone in marketing spent too much for a trade show booth." The Boss continues, "So every manager had to submit a list of potential cost reductions." The Boss continues, "I might have accidentally sent the department phone list as an e-mail attachment." Ted mumbles, "*%! $@." The Boss thinks, "There are lots of whiners in "A" through "M."

Alice's Off Color Jokes

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Alice's Off Color Jokes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 2015's comic on:

Tags #joke, #jokes, #joking, #assume, #assumptions, #offensive

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Tina: I'm uncomfortable with the off-color jokes I keep hearing in the engineering department. Boss: I'll talk to the guys and tell them to knock it off. Tina: Guys? Alice: Stop being babies. My jokes do not hurt your ears! Dilbert and Asok: It burns!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 2017's comic on:

Tags #wages, #cost of living, #raise, #money, #rent, #apartment, #roommate, #space

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Asok: I need a raise because the cost of living around here is too high. Boss: Stop being greedy. I pay you plenty. Asok: I can't even afford to rent an apartment. Boss: Get some roommates. Asok: I can't afford that either. I've been sleeping on a baby changing table in a public restroom. And the janitor has been charging me $3,000 per month for that. Boss: How wide is the baby changing table? Asok: Not wide enough for a roommate. Boss: Well, I'm out of ideas.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 11, 2018's comic on:

Tags #boss, #cost, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #ladder, #waste

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Boss: Do you know where I can find a ladder? Dilbert: I can help you with that, but it will come at a big cost. It took me all morning to finally get "in the zone" to figure out this bug. Your interruption will set me back to square one and cost an entire day of productivity. Meanwhile, the rest of the team can't do their work because they are waiting for me to fix this bug first. So yes, I can help you find a ladder. But it will cost the company about $12,000 in lost productivity. I hope you have a good reason to need a ladder. Boss: I do. Ten minutes earlier. Boss: I wonder what ceiling tiles feel like.

Dilbert Characters

Boss Needs Copies

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Boss Needs Copies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2019's comic on:

Tags #boss, #frustrated, #irritation, #office, #office workers

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Boss: I need three copies of this. Carol: You just literally walked past the copier. Boss: Sheesh! Forget it! Just shred the stupid document. Carol: The shredder is right behind you.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2011's comic on:

Tags #managers & supervisors, #secretaries (office), #work ethic, #filling in for boss, #workstation vacation, #being in charge, #pverarted, #martini glass, #drinking, #umbrella in drink, #secretary, #business

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Alice says, "I'm filling in for your boss this week, and I need twenty copies." Carol says, "That's not how it works. When he's out of the office I take a workstation vacation." Alice says, "I don't like being in charge." Carol says, "I hear it's overrated."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2011's comic on:

Tags #deception, #questioning

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The Boss says, "How much confidence do you have in your cost projections?" Dilbert says, "I trust them like I trust you." The Boss says, "Are the assumptions realistic?" Dilbert says, "They're as real as your good judgment."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2011's comic on:

Tags #office buildings, #work ethic, #new cubicles, #death eater gray, #soul sponge, #absorb happiness, #fear of the unknown

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Office relocation Tina says, "Your new cubicles will be a color called 'death eater gray.'" Tina says, "The fabric is a soul sponge that will absorb your happiness if you stand hear it." The Boss says, "How'd the meeting go?" Tina says, "Well, you know, fear of the unknown." Office Relocation

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 2011's comic on:

Tags #anminals, #greed and corruption, #money, #pay to protest, #peaceful protest, #permit, #protest movements, #rebellions, #to protest

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Ratbert: I'm staging a peaceful protest against your greed and corruption. Dogbert: Do you have a permit to protest here? Ratbert: No. How much do they cost? I'm winning this, right?