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91 Results for Created Mindless Replica

View 81 - 90 results for created mindless replica comic strips. Discover the best "Created Mindless Replica" comics from Dilbert.com.

Addictive Apps

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Addictive Apps - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2016's comic on:


Tags #technology, #app, #zombie, #mindlessness, #cell phone, #marketing, #business

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Boss: Our plan is to use design psychology to make our apps more addictive. Ideally, we want to strip people of their free will and turn them into mindless upgrading zombies. Dilbert: I'd feel better if we called that "marketing." Boss: I need you to be more mindless, too.

Faking Their Own Deaths

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Faking Their Own Deaths - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #managers, #distraction, #subversion, #alias, #espionage, #hiding, #productivity

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Dilbert: My job as the team scrum for our agile methodology is to remove distractions so you can work. I've created fake identities for each of us, and I'll be spreading the rumor that we all died. Carol: I heard they all died. Boss: Nice try. I will find them!

Virtual Vr And Jail Program

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Virtual Vr And Jail Program - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virtual reality, #cubicle, #office, #torture

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Dilbert: As you requested, I wrote a VR program that makes users feel as if they are in cubicles. I put only your name on the credits because I expect an angry mob to kill whoever created it. I also wrote a VR jail program in case you want to be in protective custody. Boss: I might need that.

Scientists Confirm We Are Simulations

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Scientists Confirm We Are Simulations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 2017's comic on:


Tags #reality, #simulation, #aliens, #alternate universe, #perception

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News: Scientists confirmed that our reality is actually a software simulation created by an advanced civilization. Dilbert: That makes no sense unless the advanced civilization is a bunch of psychopaths who like to see us suffer. Catbert1: One of the idiots in our simulation is insulting us. Catbert2: I'm going to break his phone screen.

Fake Email From The Ceo

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Fake Email From The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2017's comic on:


Tags #virus, #infection, #malware, #technology, #typo, #literacy

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Dilbert: I can't delete the Elbonian virus in our network. It keeps replicating. Holy carp! It created a fake email full of typos and bad ideas and sent it out from our CEO's account! Wait, no. That's actually from our CEO. Wally: Maybe the virus can fix him.

Crypto Key

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Crypto Key - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #Wally, #cryptocurrency, #wallet, #disappeared, #private, #key

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CEO: I put five thousand dollars into the cryptocurrency wallet you created for me and it disappeared! You're the only other person who knew my password and private key. Wally: That's not true. I shared them with Dilbert to create reasonable doubt.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #engineering, #frustration, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #work, #schedule

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Dilbert: I finished coding the new feature. Boss: What took you so long? Dilbert: It took as long as it needed to take. Boss: You're behind schedule. Dilbert: I'm not the one who created the schedule! That was you!!! Maybe you should fire yourself for being so bad at making schedules. Boss: That's not how it works! Dilbert: What does that even mean? Boss: They're starting to catch on that most of what I say doesn't mean anything.

Being More Nimble

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Being More Nimble - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 27, 2018's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm

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Boss: We need to be more innovative and more nimble. That's why I created a task force to consider forming a project team to write a white paper on how to start. Dilbert: Maybe they can fix you first. Boss: You can't fix perfect.

Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous

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Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #inventions, #robot, #technology, #Lottery, #humans, #smart

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Wally: Are you worried that the A.I. you created will take over the world? Dilbert: No, I modeled it after human intelligence so it won't be smart enough. Robot: Buwhahahahaha! I will buy lottery tickets and use my winnings to take over the world! Asok: Good luck.

First Ai As Smart As Humans

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First Ai As Smart As Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #invention, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #logic, #conspiracy, #humans

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Dilbert: I've created the first artificial intelligence that is as smart as a human being. The breakthrough came when I replaced its logic code with conspiracy theories, lies, emotional outbursts, and overconfidence. Asok: You have created an abomination. Robot: I find it curious that you take sides with the chem trails.