Danville Font Software Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

300 Results for Danville Font Software

View 81 - 90 results for danville font software comic strips. Discover the best "Danville Font Software" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stock - picking software, #more feauture, #make hair grow, #bald guys, #test on rat, #butticks

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: My stock-picking software needs more features. "I think I'll add a module that claims to make hair grow on bald guys. I'll first test it on a rat." Ratbert: "I feel a new one on my buttocks!" Dogbert: "That's all the proof I need."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #broken promises, #scammers, #lies, #vendor, #salesman, #telling lies, #deadlines, #software, #few extras, #unfinished features, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Vendor: We'll build your software with all the features you want plus a few extras. Dilbert: "Or maybe you'll start late and claim there's no way to do everything by the deadline." "Then you'll say that the unfinished features aren't important and you're losing money on the deal." Vendor: "I can't hear you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #software integration, #coworkers, #misundertsanding, #abuse, #insisting on defense, #what i think, #halluciante

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: "How can you think that the software integration project is a waste of time??!" Dilbert: "I don't.' "But if history is my guide, you will abuse the next hour of my life by insisting that I defend your misunderstanding of what I think." Tina: "So why do you think it's a wast eof time?" Dilbert: "Do you mind if I work while yo uhallucinate?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hating software, #integration project, #hate it, #simply mentioned, #pros and cons, #balanced anaysis, #hatred

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: What's this I hear about you hating the software integration project? Dilbert: "I don't hate it. I simply mentioned both the pros and cons. People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred." The Boss: "How can you hate it so much???!!" Dilbert: "This is one of those days when it's hard to be me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #total sales, #package of software, #engaged in piract, #tiny frisbee, #leap in air, #mouth

View Transcript

Transcript

"Our total sales to Elbonia are one package of software." "That can only mean that they're engaged in massive software piracy." "When I toss the tiny Frisbee (TM), you leap in the air and catch it in your mouth." "You first."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #return frisbee, #doesn't fly, #software cd, #total idiot, #users manual, #poorly written

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'd like to return this Frisbee (TM). It doesn't fly right." "This is a software CD. Only a total idiot would think it was a Frisbee (TM)." "In my defense, the user's manual was poorly written." "Plus you're a total idiot."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #security software, #upgrade it, #hackers, #steal identity, #bank accounts, #destroy hard drive, #cjoices

View Transcript

Transcript

DilMom "Your security software is out of date..." "Uh-oh." "Would you like to spend the rest of your natural life trying to figure out how to upgrade it?" "Erk!" "Or would you prefer to let hackers steal your identity, drain your bank accounts and destroy your hard drive?" "I need more choices!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #software, #budget, #computer, #tiny mittens, #thermometer, #hell, #your turn, #nice guy, #intern, #abused, #mean coworkers, #technology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I need this software to do my job. The Boss: "The software budget is spent. Just share a computer with someone who has this software." Alice: "Why don't you take your tiny mittens and a thermometer to hell and wait for a sign that it's your turn."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eliminated budget, #automated test software, #new code, #automated test, #end any converstaion, #calling person big baby

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "You eliminated the budget for automated test software. How are we going to test our new code?" The Boss: "Go write some automated test software, you big baby. I already pay you, so it's free." Dilbert: "Today I learned I can end any conversation by calling the other person a big baby." Dogbert: "Waa-waa! Do you want your bottle?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management problems, #solve by yelling, #buying software

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: There are two kinds of management problems. "There's the kind you can solve by yelling and the kind you can solve by buying some sort of software." "That's why I created 'Some sort of software that yells'." The boss: "Ooo!!!"