Dead Emplyee Comic Strips - Page 9
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
206 Results for Dead Emplyee
View 81 - 90 results for dead emplyee comic strips. Discover the best "Dead Emplyee" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday January 30,
2015
Dogbert Disposes Bodies
Tags dolphin, exotic pets, hit man, murder, murder for hire, russian military, killed clown, dead bodies, disposal, expert
Transcript
CEO: I bought a Russian military dolphin for a pet and it killed a party clown at my daughter's pool party. I need you to dispose of the body. Dogbert: The good news is that I'm an expert at getting rid of dead bodies. CEO: What's the bad news? Dogbert: Your dolphin hired me to kill you.
Monday March 09,
2015
Wally Will Work When He Is Dead
Tags death, strategy, work ethic, work, philosophy, perfect system, medical
Transcript
Coworker: I noticed you don't do much work. Wally: My philosophy is that there will be plenty of time to work when I'm dead. Coworker: But you won't be here to do it. Wally: I guess you don't know what a perfect system looks like.
Wednesday May 20,
2015
In The Long Run We Are All Dead
Tags work, work ethic, existentialism, suffering, death, philosophy, pessimism, Advice, medical
Transcript
Dogbert: As you head to your horrible job, remember these inspirational words... In the long run, we're all dead. Dilbert: That feels like an oversimplification. Dogbert: I skipped the part where you suffer for 90 years.
Tuesday January 24,
2017
Trust The Boss
Tags trust, confidence, vampire, dead, trustworthy
Transcript
Boss: We're not planning any changes, trust me. Dilbert: Trust you? I've seen your browser history. I wouldn't trust you to guard a funeral home. Boss: That's the easiest job ever. Just drive stakes through the hearts of the dead and they'll stay put. Dilbert: To my point.
Thursday August 23,
2018
Resending Email
Tags Wally, the boss, project, dead in the water, requests, budget
Transcript
The Boss: Wally, give me an update on your project. Wally: My project is dead in the water because every time I send you my budget request, you lose it and ask me to resend it. The Boss: I haven't seen any budget requests. Wally: I'll resend it.
Saturday September 29,
2018
Fine Lines
Tags Dilbert, Wally, line, optimism, idiocy, cynicism, realism, will, love, dead, working
Transcript
Dilbert: I've noticed there's a fine line between optimism and idiocy. Wally: There's also a fine line between cynicism and realism. Dilbert: I just lost my will to live. Wally: There's a fine line between dead and working.
Friday November 22,
2019
Ceo Visits
Tags managers & supervisors, ceo, office, questions, visit, eyes, dead, business
Transcript
dilbert: our ceo will be visiting the office tomorrow, so act busy. and don't look directly at him because i don't want him to see how dead your eyes look. dilbert: can we ask him questions? boss: no, nothing good can come from that.
Wednesday April 22,
2020
Stress Can Kill You
Tags business, coronavirus, cortisol, dead man walking, depress, fear, immune, increase, scared, social distancing, system, virus, health
Transcript
dogbert: you have nothing to fear from the coronavirus but fear itself. obviously, the fear will increase your cortisol levels and depress your immune system so the virus can finish you off. dilbert visually shaken: now i'm scared. dogbert pointing: dead man walking!
Thursday February 25,
2021
Worst Place To Work
Tags barrel, best, business, dead, employees, employment, place, publication, squirrels, technology, trade, work, sarcasm
Transcript
boss in board room: a trade publication ranked us dead last on their list of "best places to work." the review says, "employees say working there is like eating a barrel of dead squirrels." boss: could have been worse. dilbert: only for the squirrels.
Saturday May 08,
2021
Work From Home Or Office
Tags business, technology, video call, office, work from home, home, quit, shoot, dead, mistake, happiness
Transcript
boss on video call. boss: how many of you would prefer going back to work in the office instead of working at home? voices from laptop: i'd rather be dead. i quit. shoot me. boss walking in living room thinking: i knew it was a mistake to let them taste happiness.