Death Spiral Comic Strips - Page 9
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237 Results for Death Spiral
View 81 - 90 results for death spiral comic strips. Discover the best "Death Spiral" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday January 16,
2013
Tags fear, change is good, don't fear change, sickness and death, alarming symptoms
Transcript
Boss: Do not fear change because change is good. Dilbert: Actually, studies show that any big changes in a person's life vastly increase the odds of sickness and death. Wally: Are you trying to kill us? Dilbert: I can't feel my arm!
Friday April 12,
2013
Tags anger, employees, violence, contradcited, meeting, fist of death, robots, no legal rights, cardio, oiled my pan, business
Transcript
Alice: You contradicted me in a meeting today and I didn't appreciate it. I'm no allowed to use my fist of death on humans, but you robots have no legal rights. It's not personal. This is how I get my cardio. Robot: I just oiled my pan.
Friday September 12,
2008
Tags worked around clock, ten programmers, establish new baseline, tragic death march, stretch golas, stupid
Transcript
Asok says, "I worked around the clock and finished a project that would normally require ten programmers." Asok says, "Um... did I just establish a new baseline expectation that will turn my job into a tragic death march?" The Boss says, "It's time to set some stretch goals." Asok says, "STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!"
Friday October 24,
2008
Tags quality of work, dark shadow, stimulates brain, revulsion and dread, death relate me
Transcript
A woman says, "The quality of your graphics casts a dark shadow across all of your work." The woman says, "Your logo stimulates the parts of my brain responsible for revulsion and dread." The woman says, "ONLY DEATH CAN RELEASE ME!" Dilbert says, "So... bad graphics... what else?"
Friday November 14,
2008
Tags robots went bad, murderous ramapage, unfahionable, overpaid, robots, fist of death, stuck
Transcript
The Boss says, "Our robots went bad. They're on a murderous rampage." Dogbert says, "I'll take care of it." Dogbert says, "Hey, Alice. Guess who says your hair is unfashionable and you're overpaid? Robots." Alice says, "Little help, please. My fist of death is stuck."
Friday July 23,
2010
Tags death ray, invention, brain scan, popcorn, microwave, worry, eyebrows, north korea
Transcript
CEO CEO says, "We're getting a lot of interest in your death ray invention." Dilbert says, "It's not a death ray. It's a portable brain scanner with a popcorn microwave option?" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. That's a death ray." CEO says, "We have an RFQ from North Korea."
Saturday July 24,
2010
Tags Advice, death ray, invention, evil, coffee maker, disservice, success, garbage man
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My company wants to turn my invention into a death ray. How can I stop them from succeeding?" Garbage man says, "There is one natural force that can stop any form of success. It goes by the name?" Dilbert says, "Wally?" Wally says, "How may I be of disservice?"
Monday August 09,
2010
Tags special project, secret, confidential, dig grave, shovel, death, medical
Transcript
The Boss says, "I need you to work on a highly confidential project." The Boss says, "When you're done, I want you to dig your own shallow grave and beat yourself to death with the shovel." Dilbert says, "Why does it feel as if my entire career has been preparation for this project?" The Boss says, "You're welcome."
Thursday September 30,
2010
Tags boss, employee, meeting, change, freak out, panic, mouth open, yell, eyes closed, death, business, medical
Transcript
The Boss says, "Don't be afraid of change, Asok." Asok says, "Okay. Wait. What?" Asok says, "You subtle implication is that I should change to be more like you!" The Boss says, "Bumpy start." Asok says, "I choose death!"
Saturday January 03,
2009
Tags history, lying, pride, selfishness, worried, recession, frightening, crimean war, cold stench, death, use moisturizer, old enough, experience, education, medical
Transcript
Topper Asok says, "This recession frightens me." Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "During the Crimean war, all I had to eat was the cold stench of death!" Asok says, "You don't seem old enough to?" Topper says, "I use moisturizer!"