Dedicated Higher Priorities Comic Strips - Page 9

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98 Results for Dedicated Higher Priorities

View 81 - 90 results for dedicated higher priorities comic strips. Discover the best "Dedicated Higher Priorities" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2010's comic on:


Tags #coworker, #change, #website, #case, #frustrated, #beaurocracy, #yell, #pill, #placebo, #technology

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Woman says, "I need a minor change to our website." Wally says, "Give me your business case for the change and I'll prioritize it for the queue." Woman says, "I don't have time to write a business case for one little change." Wally says, "I can't justify changing my priorities without one." Woman says, "GAAAA!!! Why can't we do the simplest things in this stupid company???!" Wally says, "Try one of these corporate post-traumatic stress pills to dull your memory of these events." Woman says, "What? Where am I? Who are you?" Wally says, "You were just leaving." Wally says, "They're placebos, but I find that they solve 20% of my problems."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 2001's comic on:


Tags #layoffs, #fly on wall, #poof, #wally as fly, #rational budget decions, #who do we hate, #fly eating donut, #mean, #board of directors

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Dilbert and Wally stand in the hallway looking into the conference room where the Boss is having a meeting. Dilbert says, "They must be talking about the layoffs." Wally says, "I'd like to be a fly on that wall." Suddenly, "Poof!" and Wally is turned into a fly. Wally is seen in fly form, with his head on a fly's body. He says, "Great...the one time I get my wish..." Wally flies into the room as the Boss says, "Let's focus on our priorities and make rational budget decisions." The whole room erupts in laughter: "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" The Boss continues speaking as Wally flies in close to his coffee and donut. The Boss says, "Back to reality. I'll fire Ted; he creeps me out. Who else do we hate?" Wally lands on the donut as the Boss says, "Hey, my donut is gettting eaten by the world's ugliest fly!" Wally says, "Bonanza!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2014's comic on:


Tags #bossify, #deception, #fund ideas, #genius, #ideas, #customer support, #software, #budget approval, #delay projects, #low priority, #wise, #funding, #engineering

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Dilbert: You had a great idea bout upgrading our customer support software. Boss: I don't remember having that idea. Dilbert: It was genius. Boss: Well, that does sound like something I would suggest. Dilbert: We'll need budget approval, but that should be no problem for you. Boss: Duh. Obviously I'll fund my idea. It's genius. Dilbert: I'll need to delay my other project, but, as you said, those are lower priorities. Boss: I said that? Dilbert: It was very wise of you. Alice: How did you get funding for your idea? Dilbert: I had to bossify it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #Family, #husbands, #priorities, #work ethic, #balancing, #trash talk, #guilty, #busywork, #husband, #relationships

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Boss: Carol, I know it isn't easy balancing your work duties and your family. So I thought it would help if I trash-talk your family. That way you won't feel so guilty when you ignore them to do my busywork. I'll start with your husband. Carol: Don't bother. I got that one covered.

Single Dilbert Is Valuable

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Single Dilbert Is Valuable - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2015's comic on:


Tags #competition, #dating, #low standards, #Men, #market value, #single guy, #low bar, #tall, #employed, #height, #relationships

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Dilbert: I'm starting to realize that my market value as a single guy is higher than I thought. Men such as you have set the bar so low that all I need to do is have a job and be taller than most women in heels. I thought they were turned on by my tube clothing, but they actually like me for me. Wally: You're welcome.

Love Me For My Mind

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Love Me For My Mind - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 09, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #love, #priorities, #relationships, #vanilla scented lotion, #mind

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Woman: I want a guy who loves me for me, and not for the way I look... or the things I do. Dilbert: That doesn't leave me much to work with. Can I love you for your money and your vanilla-scented body lotion? Woman: You could love me for my mind. Dilbert: That might have worked two minutes ago.

Selfie Camera

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Selfie Camera - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #frustration, #inventions, #priorities, #selfie, #social media, #selfie camera, #car steering wheels, #ion powered car, #share, #slefies, #facebook, #technology

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Wally: I heard you invented a selfie camera for car steering wheels. Dilbert: Not exactly. I invented an ion-powered flying car, but all anyone cares about is the selfie camera in the steering wheel. Wally: Can you share the selfies on Facebook? Dilbert: Gaaa!

Fifty Tips For Success

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Fifty Tips For Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #Advice, #career advice, #obliviousness, #secret, #success, #tech millionaire

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Asok: A 27-year-old tech millionaire published his list of fifty things you need to do to succeed. Dilbert: In other words, he has no idea why he succeeded. Asok: Sure he does. He even has a chart of his top thirty... priorities. Okay, I hear it now.

Ten Things We Look For In Employees

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Ten Things We Look For In Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2015's comic on:


Tags #hiring, #qualifications, #interview, #job interview, #outsmart

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Boss: We look for ten qualities when we hire. Man: Ten? I'm looking for an employer who knows how to set priorities. Boss: He was too good for us.

Dilbert Regulates Mood With Stimulator

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Dilbert Regulates Mood With Stimulator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2015's comic on:


Tags #motivation, #stimulation, #priorities, #assignments, #deadline, #invention, #mood, #picnic, #social anxiety

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Dilbert: I invented a way to regulate my mood with an external brain stimulator. Boss: You're supposed to be organizing the company picnic. Dilbert: Did you serious expect me to do that without an external brain stimulator?