Defective Coworker Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for defective coworker comic strips. Discover the best "Defective Coworker" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting called, #discuss issues, #assign tasks, #waste of time, #meetings, #become lifeform, #reproducing human josts

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Dilbert walks into a meeting and asks, "Who called this meeting?" The male coworker replies, "We thought you did." The coworker continues, "I think we should discuss issues and assign tasks so it's not a complete waste of time." Dilbert responds, "Maybe meetings have become a lifeform capable of calling themselves and thus reproducing via human hosts." The male coworker turns to the female coworker and says, "Good issue." She replies, "Wow!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #not answered email, #poorly written, #didn't undertsnd, #dare to start dialogue, #talk with boss, #email boss

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A coworker asks Dilbert, "Dude, why haven't you answered my e-mail?" Dilbert responds, "Your message was so poorly written that I didn't understand it and I didn't dare to start a dialogue." The coworker crosses his arms and says, "Maybe I should have a talk with your boss." Dilbert responds, "Maybe you should e-mail him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #billion dollars, #lose bid, #winning less work, #cost estimates

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Dilbert approaches a coworker and says, "I need your cost estimates for my bid proposal." The coworker says, "A billion dollars." Dilbert responds, "That sounds high for administrative overhead." The coworker replies, "If you already know the cost, why ask me?" Dilbert says angrily, "You'll make us lose the bid." The coworker replies, "I like to think of it as winning less work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paper weight, #mission statement, #sun, #fire, #cubicle fire, #mug, #water, #shards

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A disheveled coworker with smoke effusing from his head says to Dilbert and Wally, "Sorry I'm late." The coworker continues, "I left my mission statement paperweight in the sun and it set my cubicle on fire." The coworker continues, "I tried to douse it using my "We are Quality" mug but the handle broke and I got shards."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downsized, #info, #last day, #projects, #right away, #soon enough, #90 days

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The Boss hands Dilbert a stack of papers and says, "Here are some projects to finish before your last day." Dilbert responds, "But.. I'll have to interact with people who know I've been downsized." The Boss replies, "Hee Hee!" A coworker mocks Dilbert, "I'll get this information to you right away. Is ninety days soon enough?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #attacking me, #number accurate, #too late to apologize, #hate your guys

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Dilbert says to a coworker, "Is this number accurate? It seems low." The coworker responds, "Why are you attacking me? Stop attacking me!" Dilbert says, "I think the number is too low." The coworker replies, "It's too late to apologize. Now I hate your guts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #demonstrate, #life to have meaning, #wrong place, #can't do that, #meeting, #presentation, #business

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Dilbert says to a coworker, "I'd like to demonstrate some things we can't do." The coworker responds, "I don't care about things you can't do." Dilbert says, "I know, but it makes a better demonstration this way." The coworker exclaims, "I want my life to have meaning!" Dilbert points out and says, "You came to the wrong place." Dilbert adds, "Can't do that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #3 year anniversary, #first meeting, #project requirements, #probelm

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Dilbert addresses a meeting, "Today is the three-year anniversary of our first meeting to discuss project requirements." Dilbert continues, "And we're still discussing requirements. Does anyone else see a problem here?" A coworker turns to Dilbert and says, "When you're done, can we talk about requirements?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sentence finisher, #money from orphans, #sack and albi, #uncanny accuracy

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Headline: The Sentence Finisher. Dilbert says to a coworker, "I think I should take..." The coworker interrupts, "Money from orphans?" Dilbert says, "No, I mean I need..." The coworker interrupts, "A large sack and an alibi?" Dilbert gets frustrated and says, "You're finishing my sentences with..." The coworker interrupts, "Uncanny accuracy?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #committee across hall, #west side story, #dance fight, #teach

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Wally, The Boss, and Dilbert are meeting. A coworker approaches and says, "I just found out that the committee across the hall is doing the same thing we are." The coworker continues, "All we can do now is hum 'West Side Story' and have a dance-fight." The coworker leaves dancing and humming. Wally turns and says, "Can you teach me how to hum?"