Die As Desk Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for die as desk comic strips. Discover the best "Die As Desk" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2008's comic on:


Tags #bored, #boredom, #death & dying, #meeting, #canary, #boring meetings, #die of boredom, #before humans, #business

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The boss: I got a canary to warn us when our meetings are too boring. Canaries die of boredom before humans so... Dilbert: I guess he knew that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 29, 2010's comic on:


Tags #chain letter, #e-mail, #die, #panic, #friends, #negotiating, #fifty, #superstitious

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The Boss says, "Oh no. If I don't forward this e-mail to fifty friends, I'll die within a week." The Boss says, "I don't have that many friends! I need to make more friends, and fast!!!" Dilbert says, "What are you sending him now?" Wally says, "I'm upping it to sixty friends."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2010's comic on:


Tags #angry, #annoyed, #complain, #feng shui, #lobby, #mirror, #workplace energy, #desk, #angle, #give the finger, #flip the bird, #chi

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Wally says, "Who's the idiot that put a mirror in the lobby? That's bad Feng Shui." Wally says, "I keep trying to work, but all of our workplace energy is getting reflected right back out to the sidewalk." Wally says, "And the way your desk is angled is totally flipping me the chi bird!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #fired, #pink slip, #cleaned out desk, #hold box, #letter of reference, #loser sign, #angry, #grit teeth, #tease

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Man says, "I cleaned out my desk. Would you be willing to give me a letter of reference?" The Boss says, "How about the letter 'L'? That seems about right?" Man thinks, "Must? not? burn... bridges." The Boss says, "Too soon?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #buy, #product, #quote, #angry, #die, #yell, #business

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Dilbert says, "Can you give me a quote by next week?" Coworker says, "Your demeanor tells me that you will never guy our product. You only want the quote as a point reference." Dilbert says, "Or maybe I'm giving you false hope because it's less awkward to end the meeting that way." Coworker says, "Die! Die! Die!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2010's comic on:


Tags #train mailroom guy, #worthjless, #unimportant, #email, #shovel emails, #recycling bins, #clean desk

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The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to train the new mailroom guy." Wally says, "Why me?" The Boss says, "Because he's unimportant and you're worthless." Wally says, "Okay, I was worried that it was the other way around." Wally says, "All important messages are sent by e-mail." Wally says, "So your job is to shovel all of the regular mail into recycling bins." Wally says, "We won't be paying you, but you can use packages and tape to build your own igloo." Two weeks later The Boss says, "Why is my desk so clean?" Wally says, "You're welcome."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ceos son, #joining dept., #intern, #mentor, #little spy, #tell hi dad, #list of compliments, #go somewhere, #three questions, #desk, #kill him

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The boss: "Our CEO's son is joining the department as an intern." "I want you to be his mentor." "And by mentor, I mean don't let the little spy learn anything about us." "If he finds out what we do, he'll tell his dad we're doing it wrong." "Here's a list of compliments you can give him." "Tell him his assignment is to go someplace and study cool motorcycles." "If he asks more than three questions, kill him." Intern: "Where's my desk?" Dilbert: "That's one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #mandatory meeting, #health and well being, #theme of meeting, #healthy employees are unprodcutive, #exercsing, #eating fruit, #work hard and die, #feel sick, #right on schedule

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The Boss: Tomorrow is the mandatory meeting on employee health and well-being. "The meeting starts at 6 A.M. So it will interfere with your sleep and not your work." Dilbert: "Doesn't that send a message that work is more important than health?" The Boss: "I hope so. That's the theme of the meeting." "Healthy employees are unproductive." "They're always exercising or eating fruit when they should be working." "We prefer employees who work hard and die before their pensions start paying out." Dilbert: "Suddenly I feel sick." The Boss: "Right on schedule!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2007's comic on:


Tags #vacation time, #off next week, #cures eyou, #so much work, #die! relieve stress, #unsupportive

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The boss: "Remember to use all of your vacation time before year end." Asok: "I'm off next week." The Boss: "What! I curse you for taking time off when we have so much work to do! DIE, DIE, DIE!!!" "Anyway, the point is that vacations help relieve your stress."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2007's comic on:


Tags #credible scientist, #products harm enbviornment, #cats doubt on data, #eat wrong food, #hope you die

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Dogbert Consults Dogbert: "Every credible scientist on earth says your products harm the environment." "I recommend paying weasels to write articles casting doubt on the data." "Then eat the wrong kinds of foods and hope you die before the earth does. The Boss: "You're making me hungry!"