Director Dog Comic Strips - Page 9

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418 Results for Director Dog

View 81 - 90 results for director dog comic strips. Discover the best "Director Dog" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dog collar, #keep track, #employee slaves, #final humiliation, #cubicles, #gerbils, #rationalization, #mechanisms, #collar, #6 foot extension cord, #dog, #adapting, #animals

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The Boss: "Here's your employee locator device." "Sensors in the building will be able to track you at all times." "We'll know how many times you use the restroom and how long." "It's a dog collar...the final humiliation." "Once you got used to working in cubicles like gerbils, we knew anything was possible." "My conformance rationalization mechanisms are kicking in." "It's not so bad. A collar is simply an efficient design. Everyone is doing it." "It's not so bad." "It's powered by this six foot long extension cord."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #grossly underpaid, #type of work, #current duities, #compensation review, #true story, #not qualified, #subordinate is qualified

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Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert sits behind a desk, a women sits on the other side. The woman says, "I'm grossly underpaid for the type of work I do now." Catbert says, "Write a description of your current duties. I'll be happy to do a compensation review." Caption: Based on a true story. Catbert says, "Sadly, it appears you're not qualified for your own job. But one of your subordinates is." Woman's eyes widen.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 1998's comic on:


Tags #answering, #asking questions, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #hiring, #interrupted at work, #interview, #make stronger, #work

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Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert interviews a man. Catbert says, "Are you able to work while being constantly interrupted?" The man says, "No. I would be totally ineffective, just like anyone else." Catbert says, "We were done with the section you had to answer honestly." The man says, "Oh. In that case, interruptions make me stronger."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #contract employee, #regular employee, #pay less, #motivated, #other than money, #stupidity

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Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert sits at his desk. A male employee with glasses stands. Catbert says, "You've been a good contract employee. We'd like to make you a regular employee." The employee says, "You mean you want to pay me less?" Catbert says, "We want you to be motivated by something other than money." The employee says, "Like...stupidity?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #regular employees, #paid less, #contract workers, #intangible benefits

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Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director Catbert is talking to the contract employee with glasses. Catbert says, "Yes, regular employees are paid less than contract emplyees such as yourself." Catbert says, "But if you join the company, you'll get many intangible benefits." The employee says, "Maybe your stockholders would like some intangible benefits. They can have mine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1998's comic on:


Tags #catbert the hr director, #groom for management, #bugs in fur, #lick head, #can't be manager

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Caption: Catbert the H.R. Director. Asok the intern sits at his computer. Catbert stands on Asok's desk. Catbert says, "Asok, it's time to groom you for management." Catbert looks through Asok's hair. Catbert says, "I don't see too many bugs in your fur. Can you lick the top of your own head?" Asok frowns. Asok says, "No, I can't." Catbert says, "Then you can't be a manager."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #not allowed, #eat desk, #semi plausible reason, #hate

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Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director. Catbert sits at his computer. Catbert types, "New policy: Employees are not allowed to eat at their desks." Catbert thinks, "Because why? I need a semi-plausible reason." Catbert writes, "Because I hate you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #big fat guy, #blob, #condescending, #creative director, #foster innovation, #new hire

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The Boss: Dilbert, Id like you to meet the humorless blob I hired. Blob is our new creative director. His job is to foster innovation. Dilbert: I have some ideas. Blob: Whoa, loose cannon.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #tiny raises, #nothing to motivate, #alice complains

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Caption: "Catbert: H.R. Director" Alice sits in a chair across from Catbert's desk. Alice with her arms out says, "I work hard, but all I get are tiny raises." Catbert says, "If we gave you everything you wanted, then you would have nothing to motivate you." ALice says, "I don't want to be motivated." Catbert says, "That's why I enjoy doing it!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 31, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #sends wally home, #wearing shorts, #skinhead accuse, #evil

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Title reads, "Catbert: H.R. Director." Catbert says to Wally, "Wally, I'm sending you home. Shorts are not acceptable dress." Wally responds, as we see that his pants are simply too short, "These are not shorts!" As Catbert walks away, purring, he thinks, "Tomorrow I'll accuse him of being a skinhead."