Doctors Offcie Comic Strips - Page 9

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93 Results for Doctors Offcie

View 81 - 90 results for doctors offcie comic strips. Discover the best "Doctors Offcie" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription

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Dogbert Gives Wally A Prescription - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags medicine, excuse, doctor, laziness, medical

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Wally: I keep falling asleep during meetings. Dogbert: Your problem is that you're useless. I'll give you a doctor's note that says you can sleep during meetings. Wally: You're the best doctor ever. Dogbert: Tell that to the tip jar in the lobby.

Wally Sleeps During Meetings

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Wally Sleeps During Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags narcolepsy, doctor's note, excuse, laziness, nap, sleep, health

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Wally: I have a note from my doctor that says it's okay for me to sleep during meetings. Dilbert: Then what's the point of coming to the meeting? Wally: ZZZZZ. Asok: I think it's for the sleep.

Alice Tries To Be Interesting

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Alice Tries To Be Interesting  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags nap, sleep, meetings, boredom, narcolepsy, laziness, health

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Wally: I have a doctor's note that says I can sleep during meetings. That puts the pressure on you to be interesting enough to keep me awake. Alice: I'll do my best, but... Wally: ZZZZZ.

Reanimated Employee

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Reanimated Employee - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags soul, death, near death experience, heaven, hell, medical

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Dilbert: How did you end up with no soul? Randy: I died during surgery and my soul went to the afterlife before doctors reanimated my body. Dilbert: I thought the soul returns when that happens. Randy: You're thinking of heaven.

Dopamine

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 Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, addiction, dopamine, prescription, drugs

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Dilbert: Why do I need a prescription from a doctor to make a drug that boosts my dopamine... but I don't need a doctor's approval to use an app that is designed to do the same thing? Are you ignoring me and playing with your phone? Dogbert: I wasn't getting any dopamine from listening to you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hazmat suit, harrass, wear suit, harrasment, offcie, prevention, dressed up, human resources, inappropriate delivery, business

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The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to wear this harazzmat suit when you meet with Tina. Tina will also be wearing a harazmatt suit. The suits will prevent you from trying to harass each other. You won't be able to speak directly. A radio inside the suit will transmit your words to our human resources department. Human resources will scrub your sentences of any inappropriate content before delivery. Dilbert: Doyon wear a harrazzmat suit when you talk to Tina privately? The Boss: No, but she wears three of them.

Loss Of Libido

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Loss Of Libido - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, doctors, marriage, medicines, relations between the sexes, sex

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Man: My new meds totally eliminated my libido. But my doctor says I need them. Dilbert: Does your wife mind? Man: Not since she started dating my doctor.

Doctor Appointment

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Doctor Appointment - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, doctor, office, office workers, medical advice, essential oil, attitude, kava

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carol: i have a doctor's appointment today. the boss: doctor? bah! the boss: all you need are some essential oils and a supplement or two. carol: has anyone ever survived your medical advice? the boss: some kava could fix your attitude problem.

Jargon Cancelling Headphones

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Jargon Cancelling Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags doctor, doctors' offices, office, office workers, prescription, headphones, jargon

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doctor: looks like you have a bad case of jargon poisoning. doctor: i'll write you a prescription for jargon-canceling headphones. they translate jargon words to normal words. office worker: let's stay in our swim lane while the tiger teams get buy-in on the verticals. dilbert hears this with headphones: nothing, nothing, nothing.

Cooties Contact Tracing

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Cooties Contact Tracing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags 2 weeks, contact, cooties, doctor, doctors' offices, infect, physical, tracing, Women, zero

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doctor: we need to do contact tracing to determine who else you might have infected with cooties. how may women have you had physical contact with in the past two weeks? dilbert: i'd rather not say. doctor: i'll put you down for zero.