Down Sizing Comic Strips - Page 9
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538 Results for Down Sizing
View 81 - 90 results for down sizing comic strips. Discover the best "Down Sizing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday August 29,
2015
Nanorobots In Wally Slow Down
Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #technology, #robot, #nanobot, #motivation
Transcript
Catbert: The nanobots we injected into your bloodstream to make you a better employee are slowing down. Your blood is demotivating the nanorobots and making them useless. You're killing them! Gaaa!!! It's a massacre in there! Wally: They had it coming.
Tuesday October 27,
2015
People Get Dumber When Sitting Down
Tags #intelligence, #dumb, #belief, #furniture, #new age, #science, #metaphysics
Transcript
Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.
Thursday March 30,
2017
Wally Didn't Write It Down
Tags #deadline, #project, #excuse, #procrastinate, #delay
Transcript
Man: Did you finish the prototype? Wally: I didn't start because I had some questions. Man: Why didn't you ask me those questions a month ago? Wally: I was waiting until I saw you. Man: Fine... what are your questions? Wally: I just realized I didn't write them down.
Monday January 01,
2018
Laying Down Suppressive Fire
Tags #rumor, #aspersions, #accusing, #accusation
Transcript
Wally: If Ted complains about me not doing my job, keep in mind that he steals from the company. And he only has time for stealing because sometimes he takes time off from all of his lying. Dilbert: What was that all about? Wally: I was laying down suppressive fire.
Wednesday April 06,
2011
Tags #managers & supervisors, #ventriloquism, #information overload, #libertarian, #taxidermist, #hand hole, #work, #like puppet, #creepy, #business
Transcript
Alice says, "His brain shut down from information overload, so I asked a libertarian taxidermist to stuff him." Alice says, "There's a hand hole in the back so we can work him like a puppet." Dilbert says, "It's sort of creepy." Alice says, "You'll get used to it."
Sunday April 10,
2011
Tags #anxiety, #stress, #meltdown cubicle, #theoretical workload limit, #brains full, #becomes overdue, #projects overdue, #tasks, #urgent, #funny noise, #missed dead line
Transcript
Voice: Meltdown in cubicle 459540! Dilbert: That's Te. He must have reached his T.W.L. Asok: His what? Dilbert: Theoretical workload limit. In layman's terms, his brain is full. It starts when just one of your projects becomes overdue. You end up spending all of your time explaining why you didn't get it done. That makes all of your other projects overdue. When ever task become urgent, your brain can't decide what to do next. Brains make a funny noise when they shut down. Noise: Poink. Asok: Uh-oh. I just missed a deadline. Wally: And so it begins.
Monday February 07,
2011
Tags #gloating, #louvre, #powerpoint slides, #inch taller, #competitive, #petty, #giant turtle, #infinte turtles
Transcript
Topper says, "I'm an inch taller than you and my powerpoint slides are in the Louvre." Topper says, "Some say the earth is on the back of a giant turtle. But who do you think is holding the turtle?" Dilbert says, "You?" Topper says, "Wrong! It's turtles all the way down. But who do you think is holding the infinite turtles?"
Friday August 19,
2011
Tags #debates, #discussion, #email, #objecting, #hallucination of plan, #defensive, #narrowed problem
Transcript
Man: Did you see my email objecting to your plan? Dilbert: No, but I saw your email objecting to what I assume is your hallucination of my plan. Man: You seem defensive. Dilbert: Have we narrowed down the problem to me?
Sunday October 23,
2011
Tags #computers & peripherals, #internet & world wide web, #down load apps, #new phone, #primary job, #formulas in excel
Transcript
Boss: Can you show me how to download apps on my new phone? Dilbert: I could... but that would take time away from my primary job of showing you how to do formulas in Excel. Apparently the eight times I already taught you weren't enough. Boss: I don't use Excel often enough to remember from one time to the next. Dilbert: How often do you expect to download apps? Boss: It's hard to say. I just know I want all of them. How many are there? Dilbert: Four.
Sunday October 30,
2011
Tags #gloating, #ignorance (knowledge), #internet & world wide web, #digital media curation, #trendy jargon, #ignorance on dsiply, #not worthy, #curation means
Transcript
Man: My role is digital media curation. Dilbert: Am I supposed to know what that means? Man: Ha ha! I look down you for not understanding my trendy jargon. Your ignorance is on display for all to see! Leave this meeting now! You are not worthy! Dilbert: Maybe you could just tell us what curation means. Man: Fine. Let's try that. It means um... um... Is it too late for me to overlook your ignorance and move on?