Earth Rotates Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

107 Results for Earth Rotates

View 81 - 90 results for earth rotates comic strips. Discover the best "Earth Rotates" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bog stubborn, dumb guy, contract employees, email, bulletin list, incremental cost, agree with me, our lives

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Big stubborn guy" Dan says, "We should remove the contract employees from our e-mail bulletin list." Dilbert says, "Um.. they need that information to do thier jobs, and there's no incremental cost." Dilbert says, "This is when you agree with me and we move on eith our lives." Dan says, "I will fight you to the end of the earth!"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags incredulous ed, budget numbers, request, coworker, budget manager, hard time, over reacts, ed, new hire

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption reads: "Incredulous Ed." Alice approaches Ed and asks, "Ed, do you have the latest budget numbers?" Ed looks up at Alice, squinting his eyes and gesturing, "Budget??? What is a 'budget' and why on earth would I have one?" Alice replies, "Because you're the budget manager." Ed hands her a piece of paper and says, "Here you go."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags air, company resources, contractor, demands, gravity, hover, using earth, cheap, resources

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Carl, "Carl, you're only a contractor. You have to stop using company resources." Carl mumbles angrily, "Mmn, Nph, Hbm, Mrm!" The Boss replies, "Yes, I know you bring your own air. But you still use our gravity." Carl is taken aback. He mumbles, "Fbm, Gmp, Rkr!" The Boss responds, "If it's not too much to ask, could you hover?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags accounting trolls, explination, budget season, spit on data, 95% spit, finance trolls, underground, beneath the earth

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Accounting Trolls. Dilbert hands the trolls a piece of paper and says, "I need an explanation for these numbers." A troll responds, "This is budget season so I will spit on your data and send you away." Dilbert says, "That doesn't sound too bad." While one troll accumulates his spit, the other replies, "Our bodies are 95% made of spit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags more useful, bizarre absolute, feature

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a coworker, "We should add this feature to our product to make it more useful." The coworker responds, "Are you telling me that not ONE person on Earth will use our product without that feature?!!? Dilbert says, "You changed what I said into a bizarre absolute." The coworker exclaims, "Oh, I change everything you say?!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags project manager, returned calls, emails, mentally superior, finished porject, sleep national holidays

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "Since I became project manager, no one has returned my calls or responded to my e-mails." Asok: "Luckily, I'm an I.I.T. graduate, mentally superior to most people on Earth, so I finished the project myself." Wally: "Are you tired?" Asok: "I am trained to only sleep during national holidays."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags destroy refrigeration, crushed ice, annoying noise, cubilces, crunch

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: This might be the greatest innovation in annoying cubicle noises. "Chewing crushed ice." "Crunch crunch crunch." Alice: "Must.. destroy all refrigeration facilities... on earth."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags information promised, ignored request, squadron, military squirrels, plausible lie, giant military squirrels, secret lair

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert are walking down the hall. Dilbert says, "There's Ted. He never sent me the information he promised." Wally and Dilbert stop when they come up to Ted. Dilbert asks, "Why have you ignored my request, Ted?" Ted says, "I was killed by a squadron of giant military squirrels." Wally tells Dilbert, that "He doesn't respect you enough to tell a plausible lie." Dilbert screams, "I demand a PLAUSIBLE lie!" Ted responds, "Okay, maybe I WASN'T killed by giant military squirrels." Ted continues, "But I WAS imprisoned in their secret lair at the center of the earth." Wally and Dilbert are walking away. Wally: "You can't prove that one either way." Dilbert: "He did say it was a "secret" lair."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags best, hire back, not old job, sales, train you to lie, worst, desparate, take anything, need money, job, take advantage of, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert says to Dilbert, "We can hire you back but not at your old job." Dilbert responds, "That's okay. I'll do anything but sales. I would be the worst salesperson on Earth." Catbert says, "It's sales." Dilbert replies, "Did I just say worst when I meant best?" Catbert responds, "We'll have to train you to lie better."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags victime, identity theft, wander, strangers underpants

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The police say I'm a victim of identity theft. The Boss: "Now I am doomed to wander the earth without knowing who I am." Dilbert: "That would mean you're wearing a stranger's underpants." The boss: "GAAA!"