Eating At Desk Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Eating At Desk

View 81 - 90 results for eating at desk comic strips. Discover the best "Eating At Desk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2007's comic on:


Tags #ceos son, #joining dept., #intern, #mentor, #little spy, #tell hi dad, #list of compliments, #go somewhere, #three questions, #desk, #kill him

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Our CEO's son is joining the department as an intern." "I want you to be his mentor." "And by mentor, I mean don't let the little spy learn anything about us." "If he finds out what we do, he'll tell his dad we're doing it wrong." "Here's a list of compliments you can give him." "Tell him his assignment is to go someplace and study cool motorcycles." "If he asks more than three questions, kill him." Intern: "Where's my desk?" Dilbert: "That's one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2007's comic on:


Tags #mandatory meeting, #health and well being, #theme of meeting, #healthy employees are unprodcutive, #exercsing, #eating fruit, #work hard and die, #feel sick, #right on schedule

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Tomorrow is the mandatory meeting on employee health and well-being. "The meeting starts at 6 A.M. So it will interfere with your sleep and not your work." Dilbert: "Doesn't that send a message that work is more important than health?" The Boss: "I hope so. That's the theme of the meeting." "Healthy employees are unproductive." "They're always exercising or eating fruit when they should be working." "We prefer employees who work hard and die before their pensions start paying out." Dilbert: "Suddenly I feel sick." The Boss: "Right on schedule!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2005's comic on:


Tags #itern, #eating fiber, #schools, #indian institute of technology

View Transcript

Transcript

"Tex, I'd like you to meet Asok, our intern." "Asok? What kind of name is that? Are you a taxi driver?" "Um...no." "I've produced bigger things than you by eating fiber!" "Do they have schools where you came from?" "Actually, Asok graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology. So if I were you, I wouldn't make him angry." "Why? What's he gonna do? Gnaw on my ankle?" "Explode! Explode!" BOOM! "They taught you some good stuff." "Nah. You can't even get in unless you can do that."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #vp marketing, #saturate airwaves, #as campiagn, #talking squirrel, #fake accent, #complete fraud, #pack up desk, #ruin everything

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: Our Vp of marketing here to describe our new bet the company strategy. we'll saturate the airwaves with an ad campaign featuring a talking squirrel. He'll have a face norwegian accent like, "Geeve me zee nuts" ha ha! Any questions? Yes, you with the strange ghead, Dilbert: How will a talking squirrel make people but our products? I just realized Ima complete fraud, I'll pack up my desk and leave immediately. The Boss: can we get through one meeting without you ruining everything?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 2003's comic on:


Tags #keeper of giant binder, #secret technology, #never leave office, #no drawer, #no desk, #use as tiny bed, #rest of days, #trade show binder

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: "Asok, I designate you the keeper of the giant binder." "It contains our secret technology plans." "It can never leave this office." "It won't fit in any drawer." "And the 'clean desk policy' forbids me from leaving it on my desktop." "GAAA!! I can't take it home, and I can't leave it here!" "I must use it as a tiny bed and spend the rest of my days guarding it." Dilbert: "What did you do with the giant binder prop that you got at the trade show?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #binge eating, #both mandatory and prohibited, #budget freeze, #corporate communications, #cubicle, #danville font, #danville font software, #department, #negativity, #next evaluation, #non stop sobbing, #approved corporate font, #no eating, #cubicles

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Tina, "Tina, you didn't use the approved corporate font." The Boss continues, "Our corporate communications department days we have to use the danville font." Tina replies, "No problem. I'll buy the danville font software today." The Boss says, "There's a budget freeze on software purchases." Tina asks, "So.. the danville font is both mandatory and prohibited?" The Boss says, "Remind me to ding you for negativity on your next evaluation." Tina responds, "I think I'll do some binge eating and non-stop sobbing at my cubicle now." Tina continues, "Unless that's prohibited too." The Boss replies, "No eating in cubicles."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2013's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #prosperity, #secret to usccess, #eating bread, #follow your passion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, the secret to success is to do what you love and stick to it. Asok: I like eating bread. Boss: Exactly! Follow your passion. Six Months Later Asok: Maybe I should try something else. Boss: Quitter.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2013's comic on:


Tags #ignorance (knowledge), #email, #text message, #voice mail, #note on desk, #turing test

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You didn't respond to my email, my text message, my voice mail, and the note I left on your desk. Do you know what they call humans who fail the Turing test? Boss: The what? Dilbert: Compared to you, high achievers.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #eating & drinking, #engineers, #etiquette & ethics, #crone, #etiquette class, #fork, #teach things

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a desiccated crone to teach an etiquette class to you engineering heathens. She'll help you stop eating your business lunches like kidnap victims. Crone: When do you use this fork? Alice: When I'm too lazy to make a shiv?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 2014's comic on:


Tags #miserliness, #wages, #good work, #saves billons, #no raise, #personal item, #on desk, #insoubordination, #abuse of power, #boss, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, your good work has saved the company over a billion dollars. But I can't give you a raise because you once had a personal item on your desk. Alice: How are those things equal?!! Boss: And here comes the insubordination.