Eleven Years Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

249 Results for Eleven Years

View 81 - 90 results for eleven years comic strips. Discover the best "Eleven Years" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 10, 2012's comic on:

Tags #inventions, #space elevator, #prototype, #roof, #pipe, #close call, #edge of building

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I finished the space elevator prototype. Boss: So soon? I thought it would take years? Wally: It's just a prototype. Do you want to try it. Boss: Sure.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2012's comic on:

Tags #laziness, #office workers, #encouragement, #career plans, #misjudge, #5 year plan, #legacy sytems, #retirement, #projects, #protect heart, #plenty of naps, #quality of work, #pension fund, #new career plan

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Wally, you can't float through life with no goals and no ambition. Wally: You misjudge me. I have my entire career planned out. My five-year plan is to avoid any sort of work in which my individual accomplishments can be measured. I'll hoard knowledge about one of our legacy systems so I seem indispensable. When I get to within four years of retirement, I'll only work on projects that have a five-year payback. I'll protect my cardiovascular system by getting plenty of naps and not caring about the quality of my work. Then I'll stick a straw in our pension fund and suck on it for the next forty years. Boss: Did you get him straightened out? Catbert: No, but I got a new career plan for myself.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2012's comic on:

Tags #gadgets, #office equipment, #swine, #information services, #upgraded network secuirty, #facila recognition, #temporary passwrod, #face, #extensive plastic surgery, #to log on

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac: I am Mordac, the preventer of information services. Dilbert: I know. We've worked together for years. Mordac: And it still sounds awesome when I say it. Anyway, I up-graded our network security to include facial recognition. Your temporary password is this face. You'll need extensive plastic surgery to log on the first time. Dilbert: You've gone too far, Mordac! I will escalate this! Boss: I wish we'd had this conversation a week ago.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1989's comic on:

Tags #marriage, #pet ownership, #sell, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert asks, "Do you realize that if we stay together for seven years, we are considered married by common law?" Dogbert continues, "That means I own half of all your worldly possessions." Dogbert continues, "I plan to sell my half . . . Maybe buy some tasteful things instead."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 1989's comic on:

Tags #ball, #game, #tennis

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert hold tennis rackets. Dogbert says, "Experts say that when you have mastered the mental game, the ball will appear to grow larger." Dilbert holds a tiny ball in his hand. Dilbert replies, "Okay, but I still think these balls are not regulation size." Dogbert says, "Probably just a reflection of your lack of confidence." Dogbert walks away and says, "Three moth balls and a good story are more effective than years of lessons."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 06, 1989's comic on:

Tags #boss, #lunch, #office workers, #company, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "If I stay with my company for ten years, I get a watch and lunch with my boss." Dogbert asks, "What do you get for twenty years?" Dilbert replies, "Lunch without my boss."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 14, 1989's comic on:

Tags #boring, #eat, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "How to be boring: 'Great Things I Have Eaten' series." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "But by far, the best baked potato I've ever eaten was six years ago . . ." The caption says, "The victim may try sarcasm to relieve the boredom." Dogbert says, "Fascinating, now could you think out loud all of the possible dates this may have occurred?" The caption says, "Sarcasm won't work." Dilbert says, "Well, it could have been on October 6th . . . Or maybe the 16th. Was that a Tuesday?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 1990's comic on:

Tags #computer, #computers, #consumerism, #Dilbert, #Fun, #head, #michael, #microchip, #stuck

View Transcript

Transcript

A microchip gives dilbert the tour inside his computer. Michael: ...so you see, it's mostly a trick... We've been sending you subliminal hypnotic suggestions through the video display for years. Dilbert: Like what? Michael: Goofy stuff

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #world, #pinecone, #fresh, #lemon, #scent, #planet, #Dogbert, #warm, #lightning

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "For years Mother Nature had been dropping hints about the ozone problem." The earth and the moon are shown from a distance. Dilbert sprays an aerosol can of air freshener and says, "Aaah . . . Pinecone fresh lemon scent." A flash of lightning enters through the ceiling and shocks Dilbert. The caption says, "The direct approach would work no better." Dilbert's clothes are burned and clouds of smoke rise from his body. Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Is it unseasonably warm today?"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #light, #reaching, #earth, #comfortable, #misconception, #miracle, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a stone wall looking at the stars. Dogbert says, "No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there." Dilbert says, "Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth." Dogbert says, "Thank you for shattering my comfortable misconception." Dilbert says, "It's the miracle of science."