Eliminate Vacation Days Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for eliminate vacation days comic strips. Discover the best "Eliminate Vacation Days" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #grow revenue, #new products, #calling in strategy, #eliminate waste, #miss you

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The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our strategy is to grow revenue from new products." Dilbert turns to The Boss and asks, "How obvious does an idea need to be before we'll stop calling it a strategy?" The Boss says, "And we plan to eliminate waste." Dilbert responds, "We'll miss you."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #black shoes, #cubicle, #days of our lives, #feel oddly drawn, #life has purpose, #mind altering day

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Who's today's guest cartoonist? Dilbert: This isn't my cubicle. Wally: Your horoscope says you'll have a "Mind altering" day Dilbert: I feel oddly drawn to watch "days of our lives" Wally: You look oddly drawn Dilbert: Im going to go to the mall and try on black shoes! Wally: wow! your life finally has a purpose * Answer: GO TO DILBERT.COM

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #floating, #happy, #relaxed, #vacation, #floating to furious, #broken promise

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Alice: "My vacation was so relaxing that I'm still floating." Man: "Hey, Alice, you know how I promised to cover all of your meetings for two weeks? I forgot until right now." Alice: "From floating to furious in 27 seconds. It's a personal best."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #vacation, #yelling, #bad impression, #nothing right, #work to death, #late for interview

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The Boss: You're an hour late for a job interview. woman: You're working me to death! Im only one person! I need a vacation! The Boss: you're supposed to say that stuff after I are you. woman: OOO suddenly I can't do anything right?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low pay, #unpleasant work enviornment, #applicants, #miss old days, #dental plan

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The boos: I can't find any highly trained job applicants who want an unpleasant work environment and low pay. Catbert: I miss the old days where a man would build a skyscraper with his bare hands just to make you stop hitting him with a shovel. The boss: Did they have a dental plan? Catbert: yes. they called it duck!!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #cheaper, #employee wellness program, #sick days, #incentives, #highly paid workers, #more fun

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"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "I can't decide what's cheaper..." "...An employee wellness program to reduce sick days or incentivizing the older, highly paid workers to die." "Maybe you could use math to figure it out." "When I said cheaper, I meant more fun."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #losing empathy, #ceo two days, #decorating office, #more important, #healthcare, #varnished desk

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"Ratbert the CEO "I've only been CEO for two days and already I"m losing my empathy." "For example, I'm pretty sure that decorating my office is more important than your healthcare." "Which reminds me I plan to have varnished and used as my desk."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #three week vacation, #leaving tomorrow, #vacation, #twice as good

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I'm back from my three-week vacation. "I didn't know you were gone." "Um...I meant I'm leaving tomorrow for my three-week vacation." "How was your vacation?" "Twice as good as I expected!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #staff meeting, #posting, #six sigma methods, #eliminate gap, #waste of time

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The Boss: Carol, schedule a staff meeting. Carol: What's the topic?" The Boss: I plan to fuse Six Sigma with lean methods to eliminate the gap between our strategy and our objectives. Carol: I'll just say 'Waste of time'.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #eliminate dept, #what do we do, #explain things, #morons

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The boss: Our CEO wants to eliminate our department because he doesn't know what we do. "I need someone to tell me what we do so I can tell him." Dilbert: "We explain things to morons." The Boss: "Should I be writing this down?"