Eliminate Vacation Days Comic Strips - Page 9
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286 Results for Eliminate Vacation Days
View 81 - 90 results for eliminate vacation days comic strips. Discover the best "Eliminate Vacation Days" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday November 17,
2003
Tags #floating, #happy, #relaxed, #vacation, #floating to furious, #broken promise
Transcript
Alice: "My vacation was so relaxing that I'm still floating." Man: "Hey, Alice, you know how I promised to cover all of your meetings for two weeks? I forgot until right now." Alice: "From floating to furious in 27 seconds. It's a personal best."
Friday June 25,
2004
Tags #job interview, #vacation, #yelling, #bad impression, #nothing right, #work to death, #late for interview
Transcript
The Boss: You're an hour late for a job interview. woman: You're working me to death! Im only one person! I need a vacation! The Boss: you're supposed to say that stuff after I are you. woman: OOO suddenly I can't do anything right?
Saturday June 26,
2004
Tags #low pay, #unpleasant work enviornment, #applicants, #miss old days, #dental plan
Transcript
The boos: I can't find any highly trained job applicants who want an unpleasant work environment and low pay. Catbert: I miss the old days where a man would build a skyscraper with his bare hands just to make you stop hitting him with a shovel. The boss: Did they have a dental plan? Catbert: yes. they called it duck!!
Friday August 27,
2004
Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #cheaper, #employee wellness program, #sick days, #incentives, #highly paid workers, #more fun
Transcript
"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "I can't decide what's cheaper..." "...An employee wellness program to reduce sick days or incentivizing the older, highly paid workers to die." "Maybe you could use math to figure it out." "When I said cheaper, I meant more fun."
Wednesday June 29,
2005
Tags #losing empathy, #ceo two days, #decorating office, #more important, #healthcare, #varnished desk
Transcript
"Ratbert the CEO "I've only been CEO for two days and already I"m losing my empathy." "For example, I'm pretty sure that decorating my office is more important than your healthcare." "Which reminds me I plan to have varnished and used as my desk."
Saturday April 08,
2006
Tags #three week vacation, #leaving tomorrow, #vacation, #twice as good
Transcript
I'm back from my three-week vacation. "I didn't know you were gone." "Um...I meant I'm leaving tomorrow for my three-week vacation." "How was your vacation?" "Twice as good as I expected!"
Friday January 19,
2007
Tags #staff meeting, #posting, #six sigma methods, #eliminate gap, #waste of time
Transcript
The Boss: Carol, schedule a staff meeting. Carol: What's the topic?" The Boss: I plan to fuse Six Sigma with lean methods to eliminate the gap between our strategy and our objectives. Carol: I'll just say 'Waste of time'.
Monday April 02,
2007
Tags #ceo, #eliminate dept, #what do we do, #explain things, #morons
Transcript
The boss: Our CEO wants to eliminate our department because he doesn't know what we do. "I need someone to tell me what we do so I can tell him." Dilbert: "We explain things to morons." The Boss: "Should I be writing this down?"
Monday December 10,
2012
Tags #brain parasite, #eliminate redundancy, #executives, #lying, #mergers & acquisitions, #more choices
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO has promised that the merger will cause no layoffs. Dilbert: Is that because he's too incompetent to eliminate obvious redundancies or is he just lying? Boss: Can you give me more choices? Dilbert: A brain parasite is making him say stupid stuff?
Monday June 23,
2008
Tags #boss vacation, #announcement made, #cheering, #employees cheer, #2 weeks
Transcript
The Boss says, "I'm off for two relaxing weeks of well-earned vacation." Carol says, "Attention all employees. The stain is on the move. I repeat, the stain is on the move." Employees say, "YIPPEE! WOO-HOO! YES!" The Boss thinks, "Relaxing just got harder."