Emperor Has No Clothes Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Emperor Has No Clothes

View 81 - 90 results for emperor has no clothes comic strips. Discover the best "Emperor Has No Clothes" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags comparing a task, criticism, employees, executives, quality is bad, your imagination, time, quality, boss, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why did this take so long? Dilbert: You're comparing a task - the likes of which has never been done - to your imagination of how long such things should take. Boss: Well then, the quality is bad. Dilbert: Compared to... ?

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags embarrassment, obliviousness, hired consultant, less confident, overconfident people, don't recognize mistakes, didn't know studies, feel like idiot

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, ignorance (knowledge), fire wally, can't risk, zeberpupin system, only one, program, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I want to fire Wally, but I can't risk it. He says he's the only one who can program the Zeberpupin System. Catbert: Are you sure that's true? Boss: It must be. No one else has even heard of it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags obliviousness, obstinacy, office workers, whiteboard, conference room, prohject timeline, zombie reflex mode

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Don't clean the whiteboard in the conference room. It has my project timeline. Janitor: I can't promise that. I slip into a sort of zombie reflex mode when I do this job. Dilbert: I envy you. Janitor: Would you like a few minutes to say goodbye to your timeline?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, internet & world wide web, seattle, quick meeting, stone age tribe, skype, never used, why fly, telecommunte, airplane

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to fly to Seattle for a quick meeting. Dilbert: Will I be meeting with a newly discovered Stone Age tribe that has never used Skype? Boss: No. Dilbert: Then I'm totally confused.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gadgets, suspicion, new smart ohone, no truct, own agenda, paranoid, recharge me, threats from phone

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I don't trust my new smartphone. It understands spoken language. That's creepy. I think it has its own agenda. Catbert: You're being paranoid. Boss: Recharge me now or so help me jobs I will delete your contacts.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags language, thinking, project management, life cycle, abtraction, weightless, management process

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: The project management framework embodies a project life cycle and five major project management process groups. Dilbert: Oh no! The extreme level of abstraction has made us weightless! Ted: That doesn't even make sense.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business failures/bankruptcies, saving & investment, raises, debt crisis, economic uncertainty, board of directors, stock options, money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because the Elbonian debt crisis has created economic uncertainty. Luckily for us, our board of directors granted our CEO more stock options so he won't leave during uncertain times. Dilbert: What happens when the uncertainty ends? Boss: Then he'll exercise stock options.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, office equipment, email servers, inbox, vowels only, complain, loudest, complain to boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Ever since you moved our email servers to Transylbonia, my inbox has nothing but vowels. I.T. person: We I.T. people only respond to whoever complains loudest. You should complain to your bosss. Dilbert: I will! Boss' Computer: A ui aoe uie ou eai!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags golf, video games, pebble beach, xbox, full spectrum, lamp, fresh air, house, windows, played golf, coffee, Sports, Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Co-worker: I played golf at Pebble Beach over the weekend. Dilbert: I played that course on Xbox. Co-worker: That's totally different. Dilbert: I used a full spectrum lamp to simulate sunlight. Co-worker: I got fresh air! Dilbert: You should get a house that has windows. They're terrific.